Song of Solomon

The pastor of that is doing most of the preaching at our church this summer is doing a series on the Song of Solomon. I'm not a minister, but I sense that doing a verse-by-verse exegesis of this particular book of the Bible is not for the faint of heart. Sort of right up there with tackling Revelation. Marc was gone for a couple of Sundays, and the two pastors that were preaching those two days -- well, one of them said it took them both about a second and a half to decide that they would not want to deprive Marc of the privilege of preaching on any portion of the Song of Songs. Anyway, Marc is doing an excellent job, and I do wish the EC were here to hear it.

If you haven't had a chance to read the Song of Solomon recently -- have at it. It is the language of love -- it is poetry -- it is phrases of gold in pictures of silver. It is not only the picture of married love (or how it is supposed to be!) but the picture of God's love for us and our love for Him.

It's actually the perfect Biblical study as we move closer to The Wedding. Only 125 days to go, according to the EC's webpage on The Knot.

http://weddings.theknot.com/pwp/view/co_main.aspx?coupleid=3216252686617334

Torrey and Chris start their pre-marriage classes today. I wonder if they'll talk about the Song of Solomon....

And then there is The Guest List...

The Guest List.

It's one of those ongoing sorts of tasks that really isn't complete until the last minute. Or at least until 72 hours before The Event -- which is when we have to have our final count into the reception hall.

Well, not exactly. You think you have it, but there are always those people that either don't come at the last minute who said they were -- or those who do show up but whose RSVP was "lost in the mail" -- or those who bring Great Aunt Hortense who is visiting from Montana and simply LOVES a good party!

The numbers are rather amorphous right now, though I've noticed that Torrey and I have a bit of a disconnect on the actual number of attendees. She's thinking casts of thousands -- I'm hoping the immediate family and some hardy friends will make it to Illinois in December!

Conventional wisdom says that probably one third of those invited won't come. But is conventional wisdom taking into account (a) the probability of snow in December, (b) the Christmas season and (c) that over half the invited guests are from Indiana??? That's not like just driving across town to attend this event.

So, I'm not sure how to figure it....should we invite more, thinking less will come (more is less? less is more?), or should we start paring down the list trying to get it to a slightly more reasonable number. Currently we are at Torrey's Cast of Thousands. Well, almost.

So then, who do you invite? There are dear friends that live so far away it really isn't practical to invite them. But you wish they could come. And there are those who will be celebrating with us -- though they are in heaven -- like all four of Torrey's grandparents, and Chris' grandparents and mom and dad. BTW, today would have been my mother's 89th birthday. Happy Birthday, Lao Lao!

Such a dilemma. But when all is said and done, the ones you invite are the ones you are meant to invite -- and the ones that come are the ones that are meant to be there.

Our Tim spent a semester in Sevilla, Spain a year or so ago, and one of his adventures took him to Morocco for 24 hours. (There are some things that you are quite grateful that you don't learn until well after the fact). Somehow they ended up at a Moroccan wedding -- which apparently goes on for several days, and to which everybody and anybody is invited. Tim and his three friends were the only Americans at this particular wedding -- they had a most wonderful time drinking glasses of mint tea, eating and dancing. Obviously the mother of the bride wasn't concerned about who did and did not RSVP. And I doubt they were worrying about how many places were set at the table, and if the caterer was charging per plate or not. It was truly a party for the entire town.

So, if you aren't doing anything on December 3 -- we're having a celebration!

Engagement Party!

Bob and I kissed Tim goodbye and sent him off to Ireland for a month to do his psych practicum, then headed on down to Indianapolis for an engagement/graduation party for Tobi & The Beamer.

First of all, Indianapolis is lush and green. Chicagoland is barren and brown. They have had RAIN. WE have had three minor sprinkles. They even had a bit of rain as we were driving into the city. That is SO not fair!

Chris has two older sisters -- Missy lives in Dayton and has a precious two year old daughter. Steph lives just a few miles from Chris and has an adorable 5 year old son who is going to be just about the cutest ringbearer you would ever want to see! The purpose of the party was so that Chris could introduce Torrey (and us) to his extended family -- the aunts, uncles, some cousins, and family friends. Chris' mom, Judy, was one of nine kids -- she was number 4 -- so there were plenty of aunts and uncles to be introduced. It was so much fun meeting everyone, but a bit frustrating that we really didn't have time to talk at length to each one and get to know them better.

Since Chuck and Judy have both gone on to be with the Lord -- Chuck 10 years ago; Judy just two years ago -- family is even more important. Planning a wedding without being able to share it with mom and dad is incredibly difficult, and Chris feels their loss keenly. Torrey too is grieving the loss of in-laws that she will never know. So meeting 4 of Judy's sisters and 2 of her brothers, plus one of Chuck's brothers was especially poignant.

Missy and Steph are the consummate hostesses. The edibles were incredible. I can eat sushi any time of the day or night! As my family knows, I don't cook. I apply heat to food, and the thought of entertaining sends me into a tailspin for weeks. Put me in front of 200 people to speak, and I'm as happy as can be. Announce that I have to make dinner for eight, and I break out in hives. Pizza, anyone?

I was musing about the whole idea of family as we were driving home yesterday after church. Psalm 127:3 says "Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him." This verse is used frequently at baby dedications and baptisms. But how many times do we think of this verse in relationship to our ADULT children? I adore babies and little kids -- and middle size kids -- and teenage kids....but oh, how I enjoy my adult children. Parenting adult children can sometimes be trickier than parenting little ones. But oh, what a joy and delight to just be able to sit and have good conversation with them! And as our children get married and have children of their own, that enlarges our family -- there is nothing like it.

I love Proverbs 23:24-25: "The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure it is to have wise children. So give your parents joy! May she who gave you birth be happy."

Bob and I have great cause for joy -- and we are very happy. I know Chuck and Judy would say the same about their three children. How blessed we all are!

What's in a name?

On the way to make rounds at the hospital this morning I was musing about nicknames and why we give them -- where they come from -- what they mean. All my kids had nicknames as babies which stuck for a really long time. I don't know where they came from, and we certainly didn't PLAN on calling them by their own special names. When I was growing up, my daddy called me "Pud" and my younger sister was "Snooks". Woe betide if he called one of us by the wrong name!! My mother called my sister "Rosy Apple" and for a while I was "Janny Pear." My brother was always "Ricker" and my youngest sister "Lynny Pin."

Our Jill was "Squirt McGirt" and "Jill-o-wee" (and on occasion, "Jilly Bean" which she absolutely despised). Torrey was "Old TB" and as she got older, "Torrey Bee" which morphed into Tobi which remains to this day. Timothy was Timo for years before he finally graduated to just plain Tim (Timmy or Timothy to his sisters). And of course, all the kids were, at varying times and places, Punkin' Pie, Lambie, Honey Bunny, and Sweet Cakes.

Which brings me to Christopher's nickname - recently bestowed as a result of a ransom note left in the refrigerator regarding some missing cookie dough....(I DO love my cookie dough!). It had been signed, "A drop of golden sun" and when I protested that a ray (his last name) was a beam, not a drop, he quickly reminded me of The Sound of Music. But he became The Beamer, none the less.

I must needs defend my choice....

1. The afore mentioned ray is actually a beam.

2. Chris' initials are C.A.R.

3. Torrey's favorite car is a BMW

4. Chris has a 50 megawatt smile, so that (especially) when he thinks about Torrey, he

5. BEAMS!


I rest my case.

Happy Birthday, Torrey!

Today is your birthday.....

I woke up thinking about your Birth Day....

It was a wonderful day, despite the fact you were over two weeks overdue. They allowed that back then! We went in for a non-stress test since we were doing those weekly after your due date. Then they decided to do a stress test (using pitocin), and then the doc said, "How about we just go for it and induce." I was all for that. I enjoy being pregnant, but this was getting a little old.

Things went along swimmingly until suddenly the contractions really really kicked in! Wow! Intense! But they told me I was 9 cm dilated -- at which point, I was able to organize things for this first birth in the "birthing room." (Good thing I brought posters to decorate the labor room!).

"Get the photographer!" Your birth was duely recorded by our hospital photographer (who ultimately missed his own son's birth because of being on assignment!)

"Oh, I want Bob to cut the cord!" At which point the physician wanted to know if I wanted him to deliver you. That sounded cool -- although Daddy looked a bit dazed!

You were born to the 1812 Overture -- you were supposed to come when the cannons were booming, but you arrived faster than that. It was a slow day in labor and delivery, so all the nurses lined up in the hall to watch the proceedings! After it was all over, the nurses sang a bit of the Hallelujah Chorus to us over the intercom.

So, at 2:05 pm, you made an appearance, all 9-2 1/2 of you. I remember saying to Daddy, "How I wish you could be me for just 5 minutes. I can't even begin to describe how ecstatic I am!" I felt as though there was a big balloon blowing up inside of me that was going to burst with excitement!

Your wedding is going to be a wonderful, exciting, emotional day. But interestingly enough, the memories will actually fade, though you will remember bits and pieces of it. I'm SO glad you have chosen such an excellent photographer!

When your children are born -- oh, my! You will remember that day so very very clearly. You will remember what people said and did, and you'll remember your feelings during labor and after your precious baby is born. I can't believe that it has been 27 years since that amazing day.....

How ever did you get from this:


To this?



Happy Birthday, Torrey Beth! I love you!

The List...

After reading several MOB books, I decided that the "short list" (only two pages in 10 point type) wasn't extensive enough. I'm an invererate Type A listmaker anyway. So I spent part of yesterday and this morning revising it into categories (Church, General Stuff to Do, Rehearsal, Music, Flowers, Cake -- you get the picture). Oh oh, just remembered I forgot to include Photographer (sorry, Barry!). It is now 5 full pages in 10 point type, and after I put in the stuff about the photographer it will probably leak over into the 6th page.

You'll be glad to know that under "Honeymoon" I did put "YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN!!"

Lots of it has been done already -- but there are still many decisions that have to be made, questions to ask, and things to purchase.

I think the MOB books are making me more nervous, not less. Especially when I read the reception menu in one of them:

Hors d'oeuvres:

Maryland lump crab cakes served with remoulade dipping sauce
Coconut-encrusted shrimp with persimmon dipping sauce
Smoked buffalo mozzarella and roasted peppers on a crouton with basil chiffonade
Walnut brie tarts
Sliced steak on brioche

Hey -- forget the entree, just bring on the little goodies! But they didn't. Here's the rest:

Salad course:

Lettuce bouquet in a cucumber vase with a goat cheese medallion, caramelized walnuts, and raspberries.

I've never seen a cucumber vase -- nor had the privilege of eating one!

Main course:

Chicken with cornmeal and coriander crust with black bean mango salsa, three-pepper slaw with chipotle dressing and vegetables.

Cake:

White chocolate case with fresh strawberries, white chocolate mousse, and white chocolate buttercream frosting in a simple basket weave pattern.

Comment: it's this sort of stuff that is makes me wonder what on earth I'm doing. I don't plan shindigs, parties or anything else. My idea of something good to make for dinner is reservations. I'm in a sweat for days before our Life Group comes over for Bible study and I have to have dessert. The soda and coffee I have down pat. It's the dessert that flummoxes me. Fortunately Dump Cake is always a good choice when I'm frantic.

Anyway, I e-mailed the list to Torrey and have decided that the best thing to do is whatever they ask me to do rather than me trying to decide what would be best for me to do.

It is THEIR wedding, after all.

138 more days. But who's counting?

On the Subject of Sons-in-Law

Not much is said in my books about the soon to be son-in-law. Yes, I realize they are books about being the M.O.BRIDE -- and are focusing on preparing for the wedding (today's offering: "Velcro your traveling organizer to your body, or have it surgically attached"), not on the MOB's relationship to the future SIL, but still....

I do think something needs to be written -- said -- advised -- about how to have a good relationship with this new man that is coming into your life. After all, he is going to whisk your beloved daughter off to begin a new family so that you, by default, suddenly become her EXTENDED family!! Ouch. I don't want to be extended. I want to be immediate. And it isn't as though I want them to live WITH me. Not at all. Next door would be just fine.

There has to be a reason why the Mother-In-Law has become one of North America's worst jokes. I already mentioned "Monster-in-Law" starring Jane Fonda, and while I think in that case, she's the mother of the groom, it is generally the groom rolling his eyes and referring to the mother of his darling bride. That would be me.

Yikes.

I HAVE a son-in-law, Derrick. Husband of First Daughter, Jill; Father of First Grandbaby, Deven. Derrick has been part of our family for over 7 years, and while I have a slight bone to pick with him now (he's taking my daughter and my grandbaby to live in Naples, for pity's sake!! I AM grateful it is only Naples FL, and not Naples Italy...), for the most part, I think our relationship has been very good -- especially considering I had no clue about what I was supposed to do with him when I got him!! We thoroughly enjoy getting together -- not nearly often enough, despite them living in the city. That's what you get for a nurse marrying another nurse. Nutso hours. But there are always hugs and kisses hello and goodbye -- and "I love you" on both parts. And he's an amazing husband and father. And I know that he would drop anything and everything to help care for us if we needed it. And they are thinking about building us our own little home on their property in Naples so we have some place to stay when we come and visit. We aren't going to move there....

And now we have started all over again. We've not known Chris all that long. He and Torrey actually started dating only 51/2 months ago -- have been engaged for just about 3 1/2. Yes, I know it's fast -- but so were Bob and I...6 weeks from first date to engagement; another 6 months to the wedding....but hey, it's lasted 35 years!! Anyway, while we don't see Chris as often as we did Derrick -- Jill was living at home when they were dating and engaged -- our times together are more focused and intense since it is either them coming home for a weekend, or us going to stay in Indy with Torrey. Bob has had more one-on-one time with him as they have gone golfing a couple of times when Torrey and I have gone shopping....DSW, here we come! But Chris and I e-mail/IM pretty frequently. Sometimes wedding stuff, sometimes fun stuff (like why I'm calling him The Beamer and who was responsible for the cookienapping), sometimes serious stuff. When we are together we have wonderful conversations. I love sitting and talking to him -- especially out at the bistro table in the back yard over a cup of French Press coffee. (OK, so we've only had a chance to do that once. But it was great). Having conversation -- but isn't that what social workers do best? We share websites and books -- especially those having to do with emergent/postmodern theology/churches and books by Brian McLaren. I know Chris will be a wonderful husband for my precious Second Daughter and eventually an terrific father when the time is right. And I know that he too would drop everything and anything and come if we needed him.

As a MIL, MOB, and soon to be MILx2, I am truly blessed. I thank God frequently for giving Derrick and Chris to us as family members. I love them, and know they love me. Yesterday Chris IM'd just to remind me that he loves me. How amazing is that?

And you know what? We all ARE immediate family -- not extended.

Hugs to both my SONS.

Book One...

OK, so I promised to read the books I got. I started last night with "Mother of the Bride: The Dream, the Reality, the Search for a Perfect Dress" by Ilene Beckerman. It was short and cute. Not terribly useful, but a fun little read. Glad I got it in the used section of Amazon. I would have been disappointed to pay full price for it. The most interesting part of it was that the author started her writing career at the age of 60. There is still hope for me! Maybe one of these days I too will have a writing career.

This was my favorite page:

"Nobody pays attention to what the mother of the bride is wearing anyway.

"Everyone remembers Princess Diana's wedding dress, but who remembers what her mother wore?

"Nobody pays attention to the mother of the bride." (page 134). For my comments on this (which were a little more forceful), see my first two posts in this blog.

So -- given that, why am I fussing about an MOB dress? No one will look anyway.....except maybe Bob....

I guess maybe it is because us MOBs want to be beautiful to our daughters. It really DOESN'T matter what anyone else thinks -- because nobody pays attention to the mother of the bride....

But as long as Torrey can be proud of me on her day -- that's what counts.

I better take her with me.

Back from ILCA

I do NOT believe it. I just lost an entire post! ARGHHHHHHHHHHH! I hit the wrong button and it went off into cyberspace. I wonder if a cookie will help.

Sigh.

I just got home from the International Lactation Consultant Association (ILCA) annual conference which was here in Chicago at the Hilton on Michigan Ave. It was wonderful, but I missed the EC who were home for the weekend. Truly a bummer. This was a very special conference as it is the 20th anniversary of ILCA. I am one of the past presidents and as such, received a red hat at the anniversary celebration on Friday night. Too bad I didn't take a purple outfit with me. Oh well.

Came home to three of the four MOB books I ordered from Amazon. I'll let you know what I think when I read them. The first is "Notes from the Mother of the Bride" by Sherri Goodall. That one says it has planning tips and advice from a wedding-day veteran. Aren't we all wedding day veterans by virtue of having had a wedding day? Bob and I got married at my parent's house which may have been stressful for my mother -- the outdoor wedding we planned was completely rained out -- but she kept her cool, moved us into the living room and found three candles so we could do the unity candle bit (a really new innovation back in 1970). In the pictures, she looks calm, cool and very happy, though her blue dress was a bit short. What WERE we thinking back then?

The second book is "Mother of the Bride: The Dream, the Reality, the Search for a Perfect Dress" by Ilene Beckerman. Ah yes, the perfect dress. I think they are talking about mine, not the wedding dress. When Jill got married, finding my dress actually took longer than finding her wedding dress (first one she tried on), the bridesmaid's dresses, the reception hall and the flowers all put together. I was going to start now, but (a) it is the middle of July, and trying on a winter outfit is simply NOT appealing and (b) I'm thinking thin. Well, thinner. Probably shouldn't have had that cookie.

The third one is "It's Her Wedding but I'll Cry if I Want To" by Leslie Milk -- a title reminiscent of a 60's song by another Leslie. Why DO we cry at weddings? Especially when we are absolutely delighted with the intended spouse? It's a happy time -- a celebration! But then, I teared up at the Parade of Flags at the ILCA conference, so I suppose it is inevitable. Actually, it was reading about this last book in the Chicago Tribune last Sunday that started me on my blogging journey. That and reading my friend Rebecca's most wonderful blog -- Random Musings -- which is EXCELLENT!

At least I was able to talk to the EC while they were here. I was sitting in the sun in the lobby of the hotel having a cappucino while skipping a session -- and called them on Saturday morning. They were wandering through an art show at Adams Park with Bob after having been to the French Market where they got some bread to grill with olive oil and some flowers for me. Well, they went back to get the flowers after a not so subtle reminder that I NEED my weekly allotment of mini-carnations. AT $3/bunch, it's a cheap and cheerful date that lasts about 10 days.

My list-of-things-to-do hasn't grown any shorter. I'm home for nearly three weeks before I have to head off to speak again, and I'm really hoping to get a lot done in that time. Like adding all the addresses to the master list. Chris sent me his -- but they disappeared into cyberspace and I've not been able to find them. Torrey is still working on hers.... And then there is the scanning of the pictures into the computer so I can put a slide show together. You know -- the one that is de rigeur (how's that for bad spelling?) at every wedding. No, the EC is not going to see it before the reception....they are just gonna have to trust me on this one. :>D

Every once in a while Torrey mentions the "E"(lope) word. I consider it for just a minute -- and then think, nah, despite the work involved, I want everyone to be able to CELEBRATE this occasion all together! And besides -- I've had practice. Poor Jill -- as the first, I've had to practice everything on her. She's been very patient with me. I've had to cut my brand new mother teeth on her -- not to mention all the other firsts: dates, going off to college, engagement, MOB, wedding, MIL, and now, new Grammy. Having a second child is so much easier than the first. I have asked Jill's forgiveness for all the mistakes I made -- just as my mother made with me, and she will make with Deven -- though she's a pretty amazing first time mother!!).

So maybe we'll get through this pre-wedding season with a minimum of fuss and bother and hurt feelings. Maybe we'll sail through it all -- on time and on budget. And maybe everyone who is actually going to attend will respond in a timely manner, and those who aren't going to come will do likewise. And maybe it will be a mild December evening so we don't have to wear Wellingtons and North Face Jackets with our wedding finery. And maybe there won't be any meltdowns of any sort. And maybe I WILL be thinner.

Maybe.

Registering online???

The cell phone's distinctive ring last night heralded a call from Torrey ("The 1812 Overture", what else???) Actually, it was The Son2B telling me they were going to surprise me and come home this weekend. It would have been a suprise all right since I'm going to be at the International Lactation Consultant Association conference Friday thru Monday. While I'm looking forward to the conference -- don't have to speak, can just meet & greet & enjoy, I'm bummed that I can't spend time with Torrey & Chris working on wedding stuff. There is so much more that needs to be done, and since I have a bit of time this summer, I want to get as much done as possible. It's hard to do this long distance!! Just can't up on a Wednesday night and run down to the print shop to check on invitations....or go cake tasting...or buzz over and chat with the organist....

I'm a list sort of person, and The List seems to grow longer, even as I cross things out. In fact, one of my goals today is to get it updated and see where we are.

Last night the EC (Engaged Couple) was registering on-line for towels & sheets at Bed, Bath & Beyond. "How can you do that?" I asked. "I have to TOUCH the towels to make sure they are just right." "Oh, no problem," replied my DD, "I'm just getting the same ones you have. I looked at the name of them, and am just ordering the same ones in different colors. Now, do I need a hand towel for each set, or will one hand towel for two sets do? And one washcloth or two?"

Two washcloths -- always two. I learned that from my mother. Despite the fact that men don't use washcloths....I don't think I want to know why.

After they get married they are going to move into the townhouse that Torrey currently shares with her two housemates. It's three bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths, which is a far cry from the one bedroom apartment Bob and I moved into when we first got married! (Oh yes, the housemates are moving out....) And I think their furniture will be a bit better than ours was as well. Bob and I had both been out of college for a year, but he was in grad school, and we didn't have much in the way of money as I was paying off loans. Wheaton College wasn't cheap even back then!

But it is with much nostalgia that I remember the old bedroom set that was a spare from my parents. That was the bed that used to crash to the floor anytime we got a little, um, rambunctious.... We had an old couch that my parents had purchased in 1954 that was a hide-a-bed, and was so incredibly heavy that we called it the Grey Elephant. We finally got rid of it in 1997.... The china "hutch" was three wooden orange crates covered with burlap (appropriately labeled, "Love" "Joy" "Peace" -- this was 1970, and we were of the flower generation after all). The old trunk I took with me to nursing school was the coffee table; we had one easy chair and dinette set that we purchased -- and a huge styrofoam dinosaur (T-Rex) that we covered with Christmas lights.

Anyway, I'm quite certain T&C will start off in a much better place -- but will they remember it with as much fondness???

Back to registering on-line. It is certainly convenient and quick, but there is something a bit sterile about it. Wandering around the store last weekend was so much fun -- I saw things I'd never think to look at if I were going through it on-line. So many cute little gizmos and gadgets! Torrey assures me that we'll have more time to go to the store again and finish up.

Gotta feel those towels.

Home again

Just got back from a whirlwind trip to Washington DC where I spoke at the International La Leche League conference this morning. 1600 adult attendees, 1300 children. Truly a family centered conference. What was wonderful was seeing all those moms with all those babies in arms -- in slings -- in Maya wraps. I don't think I saw a single plastic "bucket" while I was there. Truly, there is a place for the buckets. When my kids were babies, they were called "car seats" and they stayed in the car. Moms actually had to CARRY their babies in arms -- what a concept! A special high spot was meeting up with a dear friend from California that I tend to see periodically if we are fortunate enough to be at the same conferences....she's SUCH a support to me!

In my talk, I covered how putting newborn babies on a predetermined schedule is not only detrimental to breastfeeding, but also detrimental to the very important skills of baby watching, baby listening, and baby understanding. Learning those skills when your children are babies -- and then toddlers -- and then school children....really helps when it comes to parenting adult children (which, in my not so humble opinion, is quite a bit more difficult and delicate than parenting babies). I probably got more sleep when they were babies than I have since they have become adults. And I definitely pray for them a WHOLE lot more as they have become adults!!

Which brings me to this M-O-B-Take-2 that I'm on. Listening. (My friend Carole is fond of reminding us that we have two ears and one mouth for a reason). Being there. Paying attention. Letting go (oh my, is that ever hard!). Note to self: this is not MY wedding. Instead of BABY watching and listening -- it is Daughter watching and listening....and listening to what is unspoken, just as much as spoken. What is HER dream? What is HER vision? What is SHE looking for? For that matter, it is just as important that we listen to Chris and find out what HIS vision and dream for this wedding is. But more important than the wedding is that what we are doing is celebrating a MARRIAGE -- a lifetime commitment. And THAT is exciting!!

Fourth of July

The engaged couple are visiting here for the Fourth of July. It's been fun to introduce Chris to a Chicago-type Fourth....the Taste of Chicago in the city, followed by the most amazing fireworks on Lake Michigan, followed by trying to navigate to the train station with a million others. It's an experienced not to be missed! Today will be the annual Wheaton parade, followed by a backyard barbeque (if it doesn't rain). We are in the middle of a drought, and it picks TODAY to rain?

Torrey was actually due on the Fourth, so though she finally made an appearance on the 19th, we often celebrate her birthday today, especially now that she lives 200 miles away. I think I might be the only woman who, upon hearing the 1812 Overture, thinks of birth. Yup -- that was the music that was playing the moment she was born.....and she's been a firecracker ever since!

We did get some things done wedding-wise while they were here, but not nearly enough. Too many other things going on. What's been a real treat is that the two of them invited me to go with them to register -- oh, what fun that has been! We've been to Marshall Field's and Bed, Bath and Beyond. We aren't done -- hope I get to join them on another sojourn into the land of "stuff."

Yesterday I mentioned that the wedding day belongs to the bride, the groom, and the Father of the Bride. (I did notice at least one book for the FOB on Amazon.com -- but I think it was a mini-"Idiot's Guide" type of thing. In any case, continuing to think about it -- who gets to walk the bride down the aisle? Who gets to give her away -- or "present" her (in current lingo)? Who gets to welcome everyone to the reception and thank them for coming? And, of course, there is the Father-Daughter Dance. Looking through a Bride's magazine the other day, I discovered there are lists of titles for the couple's first dance, and lists of titles for the Father-Daughter dance -- but none for a Mother-Son dance! So even when I get to be the MOG (our final hurrah someday), fading into the background on the big day is what we do best.

I'm glad Bob gets to do all this, and I'm sure Torrey (and most other brides) wouldn't have it any other way.

It's been SO fun having them home. Last night after getting home around 12:45 am, Torrey, Chris and I stayed up until the wee smalls, laughing, talking, and telling jokes.

Have I mentioned how excited I am that they are getting married? I couldn't have picked anyone better for my daughter had I been in charge of the picking!

Off to the parade! Happy Fourth!

Pictures....

Here we have the bride and groom.... Christopher & Torrey Beth

Here's the mother and father of the bride in more relaxed days.....

Five Months Until THE Day

It occurred to me today that not much is written for -- or about -- the Mother of the Bride. I checked out Amazon.com and there were a few books there -- so I've ordered -- um -- 4. It's not as though this is my first time around this being a MOB bit....seven years ago, my oldest daughter got married in a lovely ceremony, and we all survived. But this time I'm feeling a bit more panicky -- perhaps because my darling daughter is in Indianapolis and I'm in the Chicagoland area and we are trying to do this long distance.

And it also occurred to me that when all is said and done, the wedding is all about the bride, the groom, and the FATHER of the bride! Haven't seen too many movies about the Mother of the Bride starring -- oh -- someone like Meredith Baxter Birney, have we? Instead we have Monster in Law -- and if we did have a movie about a MOB, it would probably star someone along the lines of Roseann. In fact, did you notice that in the latest version of Father of the Bride, the mother wore beige and kept her mouth shut? We laugh about that being reserved for the Mother of the Groom, but in point of fact, on the wedding day, that's exactly the role reserved for the MOB.

But I digress. Actually, I had a wonderful time at Jill's wedding, and did not wear beige. (If I wore either beige or black, I'd have to keep talking so no one would think I had died during the reception and we'd end up with one wedding and a funeral).

Meanwhile, I'm looking forward to the next five months. A few things on the list are done. We have the church, the reception hall, the two ministers (my two super brothers-in-law), the wedding dress -- and most importantly, the bride, Torrey Beth, and the groom, Christopher -- whom, I might add, I already love as a son.

More anon -- back to the budget!

Jan-the-MOB