Mother of the Bride Spot

Random thoughts on being a Mother of the Bride...although since we are now past The Wedding, perhaps this would be better titled Random Thoughts On Life In General...

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

And Then Along Came Mary....

One of our garage sale visitors was Mary. Mary was most unique....

In her late 70's, Mary was hunched nearly double with osteoporosis which put her at about 4'8". Her teeth were catawampus in her mouth -- top ones missing and bottom ones grown to fill in the gap. Mary gave new meaning to the phrase, "A bit long in the tooth." But there was determination in her voice and a twinkle in her eye.

"Jan," she announced, "I'm going to order you around. You don't mind, do you?" No, of course not, Mary. I followed her around the garage sale, reaching over the table to pick up items she couldn't get to. She looked around, picked up a few things, and then came back to the table with a glass of lemonade. "I need to sit down."

Chris promptly got up out of his chair where he was sitting next to Torrey. I was afraid if she sat in the folding lawn chair we'd never get her out....

"I've never had refreshments at a garage sale before," she announced. "This is very nice. Would you go get me that bear over there?" I sprang to. Meanwhile, Torrey started chatting with her as we began to total up her purchases. 6 magnets for a nickel each. I'd thrown in the placemat they had been on. A couple of Beanie Babies. A lone saucer. An old chess game. A couple of other things, including a very nice bear from Land's End that Torrey didn't want any more.

She took a piece of paper and wrote down each of her purchases, along with our name and address. We came at a good price of $6 for everything. "I have to write everything down so I know where my money is going," she announced. "My, but this is good lemonade. I have a resin turtle in my yard and I'm trying to figure out how to put a hat on it. I'm thinking the hat on this bear might be just the thing, but I hate to take it apart."

I left to help someone else, and she and Torrey had the best time chatting. Torrey has an amazing affinity for the elderly -- in her junior year at Taylor she did a brief internship at the DuPage Convalescent Center. The elderly loved her and she loved them....

In fact, it reminded Torrey that there was more to social work than just troubled elementary children...perhaps, just perhaps, she might think about switching over to working in an assisted living facility or nursing home...or even home care. Something to ponder this summer.

We helped Mary out of the chair eventually, and into the car which was a bit long in the tooth itself. Chris put her newfound treasures into the trunk that was completely filled with junk. So was the inside of the car. There was just enough room for Mary to sit on the brown paper sack in the driver's seat and put her large tote bag next to her.

I can imagine what her house looks like.

I do think she needs a social worker.

Torrey?

Ye Olde Garage Sale

It is finally over. I think we have recouperated, but I'm not quite sure. We better have -- Bob starts his new job tomorrow...PRAISE GOD... and I am teaching a cram course. But why I didn't take pictures, I'll never know.

We "opened" at 9:00 both Friday and Saturday. Our first customer came by at 7:02 when we opened the garage door so Torrey & Chris could start pricing their things. I think we probably had at least 100 people by before 8:30. So much for timing...

Friday started out looking rainish, and I was trying to imagine throwing tarps over the tables that were in the driveway -- or do we throw them over the books -- or over the furniture that dotted the lawn? Fortunately we escaped with only three drops (I counted them) and by noon it was HOT and sunny.

The people were fun. The Internationals would bargain even if they couldn't speak English. The Americans not so much. Some would walk in and definitely not make eye contact while they perused the 7 huge tables Bob had constructed. Some would stop and chat, some would just say 'thank you' as they walked out without buying anything.

Bob counted the books -- we had advertised "over 500 books." In actuality there were 1048. And there are still over 2800 in the house! Ultimately we sold about 425. We started at $1.00/hardback, 50 cents/paperback. By Saturday afternoon we had moved to "buy one get one free" and then to $3.00/bag. Some folks can really stuff a bag!!

I was SO glad we had Torrey, Chris and Tim to help. Don't know how we would have managed without them. We had everything tagged with red (us), green (Jill), yellow (Torrey) and blue (Tim) stickers so we could keep the finances straight.

Saturday we brought down prices a bit. Beanie Babies -- $1.50 each. We didn't sell nearly as many stuffed animals as we thought we would even when we made them $2.50 each. But Joyce bought 16 beanies at that good price. That helped. Both the microwaves went, as did all three computers.

Chris set up the refreshments each day -- we served lemonade and cookies -- free, help yourself. One person said, "I've never had refreshments at a garage sale, ever!"

I liked the "drive by" shoppers. "Do you have a canoe?" No, sorry. "OK, thanks!" "Do you have any bicycles?" No -- sorry. "Oh, OK." "Canes? Children's wagons? Fly fishing equipment?" No, no, and no. But we do have plenty of dishes, a toddler's push toy, an entertainment center, an antique dining room table, a bedroom set -- and did I mention the stuffed animals???

Saturday we didn't have anyone until about 8:00 or so. Much fewer on Saturday -- even periods of time where we didn't have anyone. On Friday we had two blocks of 30 seconds each where no one was there.

Bob estimates all together we had between 400 and 500 visitors.

We are thinking about doing this again for one day in August or September.

We'll see. After putting everything away, I'm not sure I'm ready to get it out again.

I'm still pooped.

But it was fun.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

The Graduate, Continued....



Timothy at his home for the past year...



My Taylor Tots....Timothy (2006), Torrey Beth (2000)



Three of my kids....



Christopher graciously takes a picture of the Taylor Tots and the Financial Support...




Tim -- the Master Griller




The MC and The Dumpling

The Graduate

What an amazing weekend. I don't think it could have been more perfect if we personally had orchestrated it!

Saturday morning dawned bright and sunny, albeit a bit chilly. However for all the Hoosiers that had endured clouds and rain and more clouds and more rain it was more than a blessing to see cloudless blue skies and lots of sun.

Out of all the graduations we have gone to, this is the first one that has been outside. Amazingly enough we were steered to the folding chairs rather than the bleachers. Oh Thank You Lord! My back would not have endured three + hours on the bleachers!!

Three hours is a LONG time for a graduation -- but this one was punctuated by a memorial service/graduation for the three seniors that were transported to heaven in the semi/van accident on April 26. I was trying to imagine how I would have felt if it had been Timothy....

420 students graduated -- 20 of them finished with double majors -- Tim was one of them. We are so proud of him!!



The speaker was Dr. Stephen L. Johnson a 1973 graduate of Taylor and currently the Administrator of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. One of the Taylor traditions is to present each student with a towel symbolizing Christian service, encouraging each graduate to live a life of service to the Lord and to others. Dr. Johnson has presented President George W Bush with a Taylor towel -- and he, in return, wrote a letter to the Taylor graduates; each student will receive a copy in the next few weeks.

I thought that was pretty impressive. Between Bob, me, and our children we have now gone through 10 graduations and this is the first in which the class has been acknowledged by the President of the United States.

Unfortunately we were sitting too far away to get a picture of Tim as he received his diploma, but we will get an official one from the school in a couple of months.

After graduation we went to The Rock where Tim has lived for the past year with five of the nicest guys you would ever want to meet. They set up a barbeque with moms bringing salads and desserts. Tim presided over the grill. I DID get a couple of pictures of that....he's a pretty good grillmaster.

Later we headed down to Fishers to spend the rest of the weekend at The Dumpling with Torrey and Chris.

It was The Most Perfect Weekend.

And now all three of our children are college graduates. Tim has a pin saying "For Hire". We are hoping with him for a Very Good Job in a Very Expensive Restaurant until he raises the support he needs to head off to the Middle East as a missionary for two years.

We are, of all parents, most amazingly blessed.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Goodbye....

It's nearly 7:00. If Jill and their caravan of three vehicles is on schedule they should be battening down the hatches somewhere near Evansville IN in the first leg of their journey to Naples. Last night -- was it really only 24 hours ago -- we said goodbye to sweet baby Deven and to Jill -- to verbally wish them well on their southern venture and to privately hope that they hate it and come home to the warmth and welcome of the midwest.

I printed a picture taken of the three of us -- Bob, Deven and me -- at The Wedding and put it in a magnetic frame for their refrigerator. How is a 21 month old going to remember his Grammie and his Papa? For a few days, maybe even for a few weeks, each time they get in the car he'll ask, "Papa's house?" but when Papa's house isn't forthcoming -- he'll forget.

Jill cried. I cried. "You don't HAVE to do this," I murmured into her neck as I was hugging her...."You COULD stay here."

But no, she has to go. If for no other reason because she wants to go. Derrick wants to go. They are tired, they think, of the cold Chicago winters. (Uh, duh, I think I'll take a few snowflakes and 20 degree weather over hurricanes any day, but what do I know?)

They both have good jobs waiting for them. They have a two bedroom, furnished condo waiting to house them while their home is being built. They have the ocean, the beach, Disney World, the sun, and....and....um....well...

Papa Bob and Grammie are here. Auntie Torrey and Uncle Chris are here. (Well, practically here -- Indy is suddenly seeming close.) Uncle Tim is here -- at least for a while. Auntie Ruth and Uncle Joey are here. Cousins Donovan and Joey are here. Church is here. Friends are here.

I thought the old folks were supposed to leave and go to where it is warm. I didn't think the young families were going to take flight.

My dear sister Rosie called me tonight to see how we were doing. "Um. Well. OK, I guess." I said. It helps that we are going to Taylor tomorrow for Tim's graduation and that we will be staying with Torrey and Chris. I need family right now.

I didn't think it was going to hurt quite this much. After all, there is e-mail and there are cell phones and there is the U.S. Postal Service and there are digital cameras. But somehow, none of those make up for the delighted squeal of a toddler with eyes lit up as he reaches out for his Papa. And they have been planning this for well over 3 years. So it isn't as though we haven't known.

But somehow....

I miss my children and my grandbaby. And it's only been 24 hours.

What will it be like a month from now?

May God grant us all traveling mercies as we continue on our various journeys.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

More on books....

We did it. We actually went through all the books in the house, and now have (Bob estimates) 600 or so to add to the rest of the garage sale. And yes, Bob did count what was left -- just under 2800. But the furnace room in the basement which was the "library" looks amazing! He rearranged the books, filled up nearly every other case there is in the house, and we can now SEE all the books -- even the ones on the bottom shelves.

Bob's car (Madame Blueberry) is now residing in the driveway as her half of the garage is full of boxes of --- books.

He's put an ad in the paper....

Why don't you drop by on the 26th and 27th -- we'll give you a great deal on -- BOOKS!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

A Mother's Day Anniversary

Mother's Day is incredibly special to me. Never mind that I really think we ought to be able to celebrate Mother's Day on each of our children's birthdays -- which would give me three of them. Hallmark hasn't chosen to pick up on that idea, so I'm doing Mother's Day on the second Sunday in May along with the rest of the mothers in the U.S. of A.

But this Mother's Day is special. You see, it is the 10th anniversary of Tim's miraculous healing...

The saga started on a hot day, July 28, 1995. Tim lost his memory. He was at camp in Montrose PA and had gone to see the nurse to use his inhaler. She reported that all of a sudden, he looked at her with a funny look in his eyes and said, "Where am I?" His memory for people, places and events had entirely disappeared. Including his grandmother and me.

What followed the next few months was an exercise in futility, frustration, fear, and faith.

We went to physician after physician, hospital after hospital, and had test after test. Tim's symptoms didn't fit into any experiential grid -- so we were dismissed. The first pediatric neurologist decided he was faking it because he didn't know who Michael Jordan of the Bulls was. Most of the other health professionals just shook their heads. Since nothing could be found with the MRI, MRAs and CAT scans, then nothing really must have been wrong.

But our church, our family, and our friends prayed. And prayed. And prayed.

Tim was functional -- in fact, amazingly enough he did very well. Most of his school subjects didn't require he remember people, places and events. Math he could do. He could ride a bike and swim. But he didn't remember how to take a shower, where his bedroom was, or what any foods were. "Do I like that?" he would often ask. (We tried fooling him with strawberries which he despises, but couldn't remember. "Everyone likes strawberries," I said. He didn't -- he HATED them. Still!)

We continued to pray.

We took him to the Mayo Clinic. After three days they decided he must have been sexually abused in some way.

We disagreed -- and continued to pray.

He also suffered from pikilothermia. Whenever his body temperature rose above 98, he would pass out. It happened in school, it happened at home. I carried a beeper so that I could race over to the middle school at any time. He couldn't exercise, and he couldn't participate in gym. If I had to travel, Torrey carried a beeper and had the car so she could leave the high school if necessary. Everyone was on the alert. Either Bob or I would go to all the field trips so we could be with him if needed.

We continued to pray.

And we also wondered if we should move to Alaska.

One Sunday we were in church. Kent Hughes was leading the congregation in the morning prayer, when Tim whispered to me: "Mommy, I remember something. I remember Jill's 14th birthday. We had donuts with candles in them."

It was Mother's Day, 1996. Tim's memory had returned as mysteriously as it had left. His pikilothermia disappeared within a couple of weeks. He was back to normal.

Folks ask if there were any residual effects from the memory loss. We can't answer that, as we don't know what Tim would have been like without it. Tim thinks -- and we agree -- that it has all brought us much closer to the Lord.

He graduates from Taylor University next Saturday with a double major in psychology and Spanish. He plans to live with some friends in Wheaton for a few months -- attend candidate school for Frontiers Mission Agency, raise support and then go for a 100 week apprenticeship as a missionary -- most likely in Northern Africa or the Middle East.

God has answered prayer abundantly.

And this morning I will sit in "our pew" where the miracle happened. It will be hard to contain the tears, just as it is every Mother's Day.

Wheaton College has published a devotional called Stones of Remembrance 2. Tim's story is chronicled on July 22.

But Tim's story is my Mother's Day gift every year.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Butterfly Kisses

OK, so it has been over 5 months since The Wedding. I should get over it already. But this morning on my way to make rounds at the hospital, I heard Butterfly Kisses on KLOVE radio for the first time since December 3. That was the song Torrey chose for her Father/Daughter dance.

I'll never hear it again without seeing this picture in my mind's eye:

And yes, those are the only tears Torrey shed -- dancing with her daddy.

Picture Worth 10,000 Words

We have a grouping of family pictures on the wall in our living room right next to the couch. This particular picture, taken by our friend Jim Whitmer is the "official" wedding picture as we don't have the *real* ones yet. As I looked at it for what must be the 100th time, it occured to me that this one picture embodies the emotional overtone of the entire wedding itself.

Rob has just said,

"Chris, you may kiss your wife."




It's a Quintessential Torrey Moment, and one that makes me smile every time I look at it.

Torrey, may it always be so.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Too Many Books....Too Little Time....

We are preparing for the World's Largest Garage Sale.

Well, OK, maybe Wheaton's Largest Garage Sale.

Let me rephrase that....perhaps the Largest Garage Sale On Our Block on May 26-27.

In any case, we haven't done one since Tim was about 10 months old and required one of us to walk him -- us, backs hunched over; him, arms akimbo clutching to our fingers.

He's going to graduate from Taylor University next week -- but that's a subject for another blog.

In any case, it has been a long time. Jill is giving us *stuff* since they are moving to Naples on the 18th; Torrey and Chris have given us more *stuff* but they are heading northward to help us out. I'm sure Tim has *stuff* and if he hasn't found the perfect job at a "really nice restaurant" (read -- big tips), then he'll be conscripted to man the yard as well.

All that to say that Bob and I are working diligently to get ready for this event. He's been after me to look at the books.

What can I say about our books? We have a lot of them. No, we have A LOT of them. I'm not sure how many. I estimate around 3000 or so. Give or take a couple of hundred. Bob's idea is that I go through ALL of them and sort out which I can give to the cause.

Oh my, so MANY books! So LITTLE time!!

Now mind you, if I think a book needs to be kept, it will be kept. Bob never argues with that. (I think he's feeling lucky that I might be willing to part with -- oh -- 10 or so.) You see, books are friends. And you don't just -- oh -- sell your friends! So as I was going through the books in the basement (where there are probably 2000 of the 3000 we own), I kept finding ones that I needed to read "just one more time." Friends!! "Oh, I forgot I had this one!" "Oh, I need to read this again!" "Oh my, I just got this one out of the library, and I have a copy right here!"

If I'm feeling a need to shop, all I have to do is hit the Wheaton Public Library. If they have a book I've been wanting to read in their new book section -- that's it. That's my shopping. It's amazing -- and I haven't spent a cent.

(An aside: Shortly after we moved here, my sister Lyn and her fiance Tim, came to visit. Lyn had forgotten our address, and as luck would have it, she couldn't, for some reason, get our phone number from what passed as directory assistance in those days. But she just knew that the first thing I would do is get a library card and THEY would have my address. Sho 'nuff!)

My favorite date is a Saturday night at Borders where they often have live music, I can peruse the books and hunker down with a cappuccino (decaf) and read Martha Stewart Living or "O". It sounds like a cheap date until you add up all the books I've generally felt compelled to buy. I actually added a line item to our monthly expenses labeled "books."

I have been VERY good over the last four months, however, though I have stayed away from Borders. I will attempt to limit purchases in that area even though Bob now has a job.

Books. Oh yes, books. We have an amazing eclectic collection -- I found I tend to be partial to CS Lewis, Yancey and McLaren. Also Cussler, Christie (I think I have ALL of hers), Cook, Lincoln/Childs, Sayers, Grace Livingston Hill (whom my mother heard speak at Wheaton College and thought she was dreadful as a speaker but good as a writer), and scads of young teen books I enjoyed as a -- well -- young teen. I'm partial to hospital/medical novels, and we have a lot of books on -- well, parenting, childrearing, breastfeeding (funny thing about that), and -- tons of others.

Bob estimates I actually put about 500 books in the garage sale -- I think there are 15 boxes so far. OK. We have done one room in the basement -- well, almost. I have 6 shelves that are double booked to go. Plus maybe 10 more bookshelves in the basement and 7 upstairs. Also did the two big bookshelves in the living room.

He intends to count what is left. I'll report the findings.

Meanwhile, he's hunkered down reading DaVinci Code for the second time in prep for the movie and primarily to see what on earth all the hoopla is about. It's second rate FICTION for goodness sake!!

Oh, but there are SO many books left for me to read again.

And there is SO little time.

Maybe when we retire.

Oh -- by the way, I put about 50 Babysitter Club books in the sale pile. Jill -- Torrey -- hope you don't mind!

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Hallelujah!!

The search is over. Was it really only four months? It seems like it took forever.

Today Bob accepted a job as Director of Pharmacy at the Elgin Mental/Behavioral Health Center. Seems odd to think that after all these years he's back to pharmacy -- his first love. He'll begin May 30 which gives him two weeks of "vacation". Interesting to think of the next two weeks as vacation -- but if you had actually been able to witness Bob doing a job search, you would understand that it was more than a 40 hour a week job! He probably knows or has spoken to more recruiters in and out of the Chicagoland area than anyone!!

Which gives us time to get things ready for The Garage Sale which will be May 26 & 27.

We are thankful. We are grateful. We are praising God for his faithfulness. And we are trying to work out all that we learned during this time.

1. What I want and what I need are two different things. And I need a whole lot less than I want.

2. Eating out is over-rated. We've really cut back. We did celebrate tonight by going to Macaroni Grill -- but we did it as a two-fer -- celebration AND Mother's Day (since I won't have any of my sweet children to celebrate with me) -- AND we both brought home enough for dinner tomorrow night! Does that make it a three-fer?

3. When you are going through times of need/stress, you are recipients of the love of the body of Christ that you don't really know and understand unless you are in need of it. What an amazing family, life group, and church family we have....thank you Lord!

4. I've thoroughly enjoyed having Bob at home. I'm going to miss him when he heads back to work in a *real* job.

In this new job, he's going to have time to do some of the things that really makes his heart sing: he's treasurer of DuPage Senior Citizens -- today he helped deliver Meals on Wheels to a bunch of homebound seniors. I can see his brain spinning as he is trying to figure out how to better help these dear members of our society. He will have time to do all that needs to be done for Wellness Place -- he's Chairman of that Board -- and there is LOTS to do. And he's Chair of the Cultural Impact Committee at church....

Yup -- he's busy.

Giving to others is one of the things that my sweet Bob does better than most....

Lord, I think the thing I've really learned through this time is what a precious husband you've given me.

Thank you.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Tales of the Wanderer

It's too bad my suitcase can't talk. I'd love to know where it was for the 24 hours it was out of my possession. And I'd like to know how the zipper unravelled....

Fortunately I was on my way HOME from doing a cram course in Charlotte rather than on my way TO Charlotte.

According to baggage claim at O'Hare, the "suitcase came down too late from TSA to be put on the plane." Hmmmm....I checked into the airport at 1:00 for a flight at 2:41. What are they thinking?

According to the man who delivered the suitcase over 24 hours later, "they often divert baggage to the next flight if the plane is too heavy."

Oh. That is not a comforting thought.

I suspect, however, that my rather battered valise had some adventures in the hold of a plane that was not immediately bound for Chicago O'Hare.

As mundane as Raleigh? As exotic as Palm Springs? A stopover in Cleveland? A side trip to Tuscaloosa?

I'll never know.

The suitcase, a bit more the worse for wear than when I trusted it to American Airlines just isn't communicating.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Ahh...the Joys of Moving....

Not me, fortunately....but all three of my children are moving within three weeks of each other! Torrey and Chris moved this last weekend from their townhouse into The Dumpling....more about that....

Jill and Derrick are bandersnatching my sweet Deven and taking him to live in Naples, Florida. They actually leave on May 18. If you are interested in buying a loft on south Michigan Ave, have a look at what they are leaving behind...

http://www.realtor.com/Prop/1058861006 (Click on Featured Tour to see the loft in living color)

Not to mention, of course, they are leaving Grammie and Papa Bob. And Auntie Ruth and Uncle Joey, cousins Joey and Donovan....(Derrick's sister's family). And leaving the midwest. And Chicago. And the CUBBIES!! Surely the Cubs would be reason enough to stay -- but no, the winter warmth of Florida beckons.

Sigh.

Tim is graduating from Taylor on May 20 and is moving home until he is able to raise enough support to embark on his exciting adventure as a missionary somewhere in the Middle East....

But back to the move this weekend. I spent the week in Santa Barbara, arriving back at O'Hare at 5:00 on Saturday morning. Sleeping and planes are something that don't mix for me, so while I might have dozed for an hour, it wasn't much. Bob picked me up and we drove straight to Indy to start loading boxes and making sure they didn't leave anything important behind.

The Dumpling is adorable -- it's as dumpling-like inside as it is outside. This incredible week of painting paid off -- the colors are gorgeous. Very Torrey-ish. Steve, our painter, would love it. The landscaping is fabulous, and the deck -- oh the deck....am looking forward to lazy evenings of just relaxing in the hot tub!

I cleaned. Vacuumed the whole house -- all 1400 square feet -- then scrubbed sinks in the bathrooms and kitchen, and washed down all the cupboards and refrigerator before anyone put anything away.

Dear friends of the MC -- Michelle and Brad; Brad and Lori with Kaelyn, came early and stayed late and worked hard! BIL Eric with Nephew Aidan came later. Kim from the house behind The Dumpling arrived to introduce herself and offered her services if anything was needed. Friends and Family -- what a great gift from God!!

Pizza for lunch and take out Chinese for dinner. Paper plates came in so very handy! About 10:00 that night it was just the four of us sprawled on the two couches which take up almost the entire great room and just stared at all the boxes yet to unpack.

Moses and Mijo serenaded us all night off and on. Poor kitties. What an uprooting! In their short lives, this is their fourth home....

Sunday morning we spent opening boxes and putting things away -- Chris and I worked on the kitchen; Bob and Torrey did the office and the living room.

We left about 1:00 -- a fairly quick and easy drive back to Wheaton where I discovered I had body parts I didn't know existed! Bob had spent the week clearing out the attic so that Jill can take what she wants to Florida -- all the things she has left behind yo these many years -- and we can garage sale the rest. Tim & Torrey have quite a few things to go through as well -- and there are at least 50 stuffed animals -- most of which will be put up for sale, I'm sure. I didn't realize we had collected quite that many!

Moving is not for the faint hearted. Here's hoping we have a few more years at the old homestead. Downsizing is not going to be pretty.

Not pretty at all....