Taylor Tragedy

Last night I woke up sometime around 3:30 to see a strange blinking light reflected on the wall. I wearily crawled out of bed and got closer to see that it was my cell phone indicating a voice message. It was Tim who had called about 1:00 am, which would have been 4:00 am his time.

"I'm sure you know what's been going on at Taylor," the message started "I'm OK. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Of course, I immediately panicked. I'm in Santa Barbara -- what was going on at Taylor? I pulled up the Taylor website on my trusty laptop (my two colleagues are so very glad I'm in a room by myself).

There was a horrific semi/van crash on I-69. A van carrying 5 Taylor students and 5 employees were headed back to campus after being in Ft. Wayne setting up for a recognition banquet at the Ft. Wayne Taylor campus. Apparently a semi going north crossed the median and hit the van head on. 4 students and one dining hall employee were killed. Two others were airlifted to a hospital in Ft. Wayne.

No names were given in the Taylor report -- it was just a paragraph on their site with a note that more details would be coming. I googled Taylor University Van Crash and immediately was able to pull up a bit more of the story in the Indy Star and the Marion papers.

Going back to sleep was a near impossibiity. I lay in bed, wide eyed -- praying for the families of the students -- for their friends -- and for the Taylor family. One of the boys killed was a senior -- in Tim's class. The new president of Taylor was to be inaugurated on Saturday -- it was a time of celebration....graduation is in three weeks....

Oh God! The questions pour out of us. Why did you allow this? What is going on? How come? What are we to learn?

I've not yet actually talked to Tim. He called when I was lecturing but didn't leave a message. I called him earlier this morning, and then after I saw he had tried to return my call. I need to know how he is doing.

I e-mailed Torrey and told her about it -- my e-mail crossed in cyberspace with hers sending me the article from the Indy Star that was an update.

What an incredible tragedy.

I'm glad I've just recently finished reading Don Piper's book, "90 Minutes in Heaven." If you haven't read it -- do. It will be so comforting.

Meanwhile, I'd just like to hold all my children and my husband close.

We just never know when God may be calling us home.

Clothing...

It seems a bit odd to blog about clothing, but a funny thing happened on the way to the Forum....and if you are wondering why I used that phrase, you are WAAAY young!

Linda, Carole and I have been teaching together for 12 years. Our families are good friends -- we vacation together at Carole's lovely summer home at the Outer Banks, we've been on cruises together, and we make sure we are all free to attend one another's children's weddings.

We read the same catalogs.

Therein lies the problem -- or not, as the case may be.

I called Linda last November to tell her I had finally found my MOB dress. "Oh good," she said, "I found my MOG dress too."

As we exchanged info, we discovered that we had bought the same dress from the same catalog -- in the same color. Linda graciously bought us a purse to use which she passed to me after Adam's wedding so I could carry it at Torrey's.

Yesterday -- we are currently teaching in Santa Barbara -- she and I turned up in another nearly identical dress. In my defense, I've had mine for a couple of years -- she just bought hers. Usually we try to not wear the same colors on the same day -- not that you'd confuse Linda and me -- she's all of 5-2 with brown hair and eyes, while I'm 5-8+ with blonde (??) hair and blue eyes -- but we didn't bother to communicate yesterday. When we emerged from our rooms, there we were, looking like Mutt and Jeff or the Bobbsey Twins in our nearly identical royal blue slinky material dresses.

Fortunately, at our advanced ages, we do think this is rather funny. We stood in front of the class and made a big deal about it so everyone could enjoy the humor with us.

But maybe when we are teaching in Charlotte next week we'll check with each other ahead of time.

And maybe I'll change catalogs....

Err....Dieting????

The female half of the MC and I are attempting to keep one another accountable for our eating way of life by sharing all the tidbits that have passed our lips during the day. Theoretically, at least, having to confess to scarfing down four Reeses P'Butter Cups (on my last trip) should keep me from doing it.

Not.

I ate them, then blithely and unapologetically confessed my *sin*. (Candy of all sorts is NOT on my current dietary lifestyle).

A few days ago there was a radio advertisement for a new diet. Apparently you diet only every other day -- and the real incentive was that at the end of three months, whether or not you stuck to the diet, you would be paid $1000 just for participating.

Sounded too good to be true. There was a website to peruse www.dietsomethingorother.whatever. I did. I filled out the questionnaire.

Are you over 18 and under 65? Yes.

Are you pregnant or breastfeeding. No.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you really, really, really want to lose weight? Oh, about a 3. But I put down 9.

Surprise! I qualified! And was given a phone number to call to get all the particulars.

At that point, I conferred with my other lifestyle half. She agreed to make the call.

Here's the skinny (so to speak) in case you are interested. You are sent some wafers which you consume -- as many as you want -- on the "diet" days, plus follow their restrictive food plan. On the non-diet days, you eat whatever you want. So you only diet 15 days out of 30. At the end of three months, you are paid $1000 for participating.

I'm envisioning some cellulose that swells upon contact with the stomach acids and makes you feel full. Hmmm.....

The catch?

"Send $300 for shipping and handling, and we'll send you your wafers and diet plan."

Three HUNDRED bucks? Right! What are they packing them in? Gold?

I smell a "take the money and run." After all, even if this was on the up and up, the company would be out $700 per person -- IF they actually paid the $1000.

They told Torrey she better hurry and sign up because they were only taking 1000 participants. She wanted to know how long they had been working on getting 1000 participants. Since September, 2005.

Seven months and they haven't gotten 1000 suckers yet.

Maybe the American public is getting smarter.

Pass the peanut butter cups.

Easter Surprise

He is Risen! Allelujah -- Christ is risen indeed!!

Church this morning was amazing -- I'm convinced that no one has an Easter Sunday service that is as beautiful as the one College Church does. Pagentry, full choir, orchestra, brass, banners....and the music. Oh, the music! Ending, of course, with the congregation singing the Hallelujah Chorus. What a celebration!

We went to the 8:00 service which was fuller than usual, but not as full as I expected. Jill went at 9:30, got there on time, but went to drop Deven in the nursery and when she came upstairs, there was literally no place to sit. The balcony was full, the extra chairs in the back of the church were full, the doors had been opened to the narthex, and the entire narthex was full of chairs over into the fireside area -- all packed out. I don't think the church has ever been that full before.

As soon as Deven got here he figured out what the plastic eggs were all about. Didn't take him too long to ascertain that there were CHOCOLATES in the eggs....



We took our sweet time getting the ham out to be heated up, the (boxed) scalloped potatoes ready, the (frozen) green beans into the microwave, and the (canned) peaches into the one and only crystal bowl I own.

Eat in the dining room like civilized people, or eat in the kitchen and be comfortable? Hmmmm....

The back doorbell rang. Huh?

Oh my goodness! Happy Easter Surprise! It's Steve from next door. He's divorced with two boys around Tim's age who are both away. A few days ago I invited him to join us for dinner. He didn't look too enthused -- he was actually going to have dinner on Saturday night with some friends.... I told him to let me know if he'd like to come, and promptly forgot about it. Steve didn't call, so....

A lovely pot of pink hyacinths in hand -- Steve was ready for Easter dinner. Ulp. We weren't ready for Steve. Bob took him on a tour of the house (his was built 5 years earlier than ours, but by the same builder. His 1893 to our 1898). Jill flew into action setting the (dining room) table, while I stirred the (boxed) potatoes, buttered the (frozen) beans, sprinkled some cinnamon on the (canned) peaches and stirred up the (packaged) glaze for the ham.

The ham.

I put it in at 11:00. Should be toasty warm now.

It not only wasn't warm, it wasn't Matthew, Mark, OR Luke-warm.

It was, in a word, cold.

Aaakkk....my new oven doesn't work? Now what? Fortunately it was all cooked, and it wasn't the disaster of Christmas morning's Lazarus the Turkey.

So here I have company (I don't do hostessing well, as you might imagine. I who only applies microwave to food, and evidently can't even get the oven to turn on correctly....), everything is ready -- and I have an ice cold ham. Surprise!

"Pull the pieces off, put them on a plate and microwave them!" says my resourceful daughter -- who, by the way, cooks just about as much/well as I do. So does Torrey. However, they made sure they married men that cook very well. I forgot to add that to my checklist when I was in the husband-market.

We made it to the table with just a modicum of frenzy, the ham tasted pretty good despite it all, and Steve seemed to enjoy Tim's stories of his 24 hour adventure in Morocco and what a hookah bar was all about. (You really don't want to know except that it doesn't involve opium or hashish. At least not the one in Naperville....)

For dessert? I outdid myself and bought Dominick's "Moistest Cake You've Ever Eaten."

I did make the coffee, however.

And we had a great time. I'm glad Steve showed up.

Happy Easter!!

The Visit...The Doc...The Confession...

I lived through Thursday. More or less.

"How've you been doing, Jan?"

I tried for the slight half shrug and made a bit of a moue. "Ok, I guess," I replied in a rather weak voice.

"How's the family?"

Let's see -- how pathetic can I make this? I brought out all the sadness I could muster. Bob's job...or lack of it...and we just didn't know what was going to happen in the future...and his unemployment didn't even cover our Cobra health insurance...and there seems to be quite a bit of age discrimination going on...and Jill, Derrick & Deven were moving to Naples FL...taking my grandbaby away from me...

I sniffed. And attempted to look pathetic.

On with the story...and the MC had a lovely wedding, and we were just thanking the Lord that was over with before Bob lost his job, but they lived in Indianapolis, and I didn't get to see them nearly as much as I would like...and Tim was going to graduate from college next month, but he was planning to go to parts unknown (read: dangerous places) as a missionary....

I sniffed again. ALL my children were leaving me. Truly an empty nester.

"You're really under a lot of stress, aren't you? How's the exercising?"

Zinger! There it was....

"Well, uh...we've been walking lately!!" I exclaim brightly. Too brightly.

"Oh? That's good. Treat yourself. Lovely weather. At least a half hour a day."

A HALF HOUR A DAY? WALK? I thought 10 minutes a couple of times a week sounded really really good.

Blood pressure? Not bad, but could be better. Exercise.

Weight -- hmmmm -- it was up (like I didn't notice). You really should exercise.

Bit of a sore throat? Probably lowered immune system. Exercise.

Eyelids look a bit red -- been itching? Allergy to something. Or stress. Either one. Need to exercise.

My lungs sounded good -- that was positive. And as she is palpating Lucy (abdomen above my waist) and Ethel (abdomen below my waist) she said, "You know, Jan, you really SHOULD exercise. It will do more for you than any pill I could ever give you!"

"Dorothy -- do you mean there is a pill? Why don't you just give it to me!"

No, there isn't. False hope.

Two very good things. I didn't have to assume The Position -- I'd forgotten that I had a pap smear just 7 months ago.

And -- I grew! Last vist I was 5-7 1/2. This time I was 5-8 1/4.

Go figure.

See what not exercising will do for you?

On Exercising (NOT) and Guilt

On Thursday I have to have my usual physical checkup. I absolutely HATE it and put it off as long as possible. First of all, I'm sure that Dorothy (my doc) is going to find some obscure disease that I didn't know I had and that I would be perfectly content not knowing about. Secondly, there is that miserably awful no good very bad position one has to assume for the dreaded --- PAP SMEAR! And finally, there will, yet again, be the discussion about:

"How's the exercising coming, Jan?"

I've been contemplating how I should answer this for weeks. Bob's approach is that we should walk on Wednesday -- downtown and back -- and then I could simply tell her that "we've been walking." (That's akin to my telling Rob, our dentist, that "I've been flossing!" I always do it the day before I get my teeth cleaned.)

"How far are you walking?"

I suppose if I add it all together -- the walk downtown and back, walking to the bathroom, walking to the kitchen, walking to the front door and to the mailbox, walking to the refrigerator again -- and then, of course, all the walking my fingers do on the keyboard, it might be a right good little bit!"

"About 2 miles....give or take a bit."

"Not enough -- you need to do three."

I'll blog harder.

I was thinking about telling her that "I've not had the energy to exercise since Bob lost his job. It's been so depressing...."

Of course, I didn't exercise when he HAD a job, but at least it is an excuse.

Well, not really.

If you want to know about how I really feel about exercising, read Torrey's second post in her blog...

I talked to my sister Lyn yesterday -- she didn't call me back immediately because why? Because she was at Curves, that's why.

And my sister Rosie runs -- and runs -- Rosie the Roadrunner, we call her. Not only that, she wins 5K and 10K runs in her age bracket.

If there were two of us walking a 1K in my age bracket, the other person would win. Feet down.

I am going to tell Dorothy that she and her obsession with my (not) exercising has at least inspired a 10 minute powerpoint lecture complete with amazing clipart. It's on guilt.

A lot of folks think you shouldn't encourage mothers to breastfeed in case they can't, in which case you would be making them feel guilty.

Why doesn't anyone worry about telling me to lose weight, go on a diet, or (argghhhh) exercise lest I should feel guilty?

But some mothers CAN'T breastfeed, and you are going to make them feel guilty for telling them they should.

Hey -- some people are in wheelchairs and they can't exercise, but I don't see it stopping Dorothy from telling me what I SHOULD do. She's hoping guilt will motivate me.

I feel guilty.

It's not helping.

Guilt comes from knowing you SHOULD do something and being ABLE to do something -- and not doing it. Or doing something you know you shouldn't do. Like smoke.

Sadness and disappointment come from not being able to do something you want to do -- like breastfeed your baby.

Not the same thing at all.

I hope Dorothy appreciates her moment of fame when I lecture on guilt. Now if only I could guilt myself into exercising.

Meanwhile, what AM I going to tell Dorothy on Thursday?

The truth???

More links

I've added a few more links to the site...

Eric (and Kim) are friends of Chris' -- and I hope now friends of ours as well. They are going to be leaving Indy shortly for Denver working at Kingdom Building Ministries. Eric was one of Chris' groomsmen, and I've really enjoyed getting to know him and his lovely wife. I'm sorry they are leaving Indy (and Chris & Torrey), but glad they are going to be doing some special work for the Kingdom.

Matt is Pickett's fiance -- and Pickett (also known as Erin) is one of Torrey's dearest friends -- they were roomies their senior year at Taylor, and she was Torrey's maid of honor. Both Pick and Matt are in their residencies -- Matt in pediatric endocrinology and Pick in pediatrics/internal medicine. Hard -- tough -- but both will be fabulous pediatricians. I'm SO looking forward to their wedding in October.

A link to Katiekind -- another internet friend of mine -- a truly wise woman with amazing and enduring patience. She is the mother of Chris Thile of Nickel Creek, which means I bask in her reflected glory periodically. You know, the -- "Oh yes, I'm a friend of Chris Thile's mother." Never mind that I haven't ever really met her in person....she's still a friend, and someday, this side of heaven, we are GOING to have coffee -- or tea -- or dinner -- together.

A link to the Renich website which my dear Uncle Waldo keeps up and running. That's my daddy's side of the family -- and it is multitudinous indeed. They have a huge family reunion every two years. One of these days Bob and I (and perhaps our assorted offspring) WILL get to it. Uncle Waldo and Cuz Nuz Ruth are the two gluesticks in our family that keep us tightly bound. I'm thinking Gorilla Glue here....

Ezzo.info will tell you the real scoop and real truth about the type of parenting that surrounds the book Babywise and it's offspring. If you are considering using the book or the Growing Families International parenting program -- take a look at this website before you go any further.

And of course, this site wouldn't be complete without a link to my own professional partnership -- Lactation Education Consultants. After all, that's what I do!!

On Blogging...

I'm thoroughly enjoying reading blogs. Not to mention enjoying writing my own. Though they have a tendency to write themselves most of the time.

Note that I've just figured out how to include a few bloglinks of some that are pretty special to me -- or that I just enjoy.

The first one, of course, belongs to my Torrey on her life as a newly wed MC. You'll probably find out more than you ever wanted to know about what it is like to be a social worker/therapist in an inner city Indianapolis elementary school It will make you laugh and cry -- and I hope it moves you to pray for her and all the others that are struggling to do the best for the children in our beleaguered public schools.

My sweet niece, Helen Clare, is the Southerner in London. Married to Adam -- an Aussie working as a youth pastor at All Souls church in London -- Helen Clare is discovering that more than just a large pond separates Brookhaven Mississippi from London England. She just discovered the joys of blogging when we were all together at Robbie and Tina's wedding in March. What a great way to let all of us keep up with what is going on in her life!

My youngest sister, Lyn, is the Ami in Berlin. ("Ami" is affectionate German slang for an American). Lyn, Tim and their three kids have lived in Berlin for the last nine years, though they've been home in Montrose PA for the '05-'06 school year. They'll be heading back to Berlin in August, leaving their oldest, Timothy, at Covenant College for his freshman year. I've been encouraging Lyn to blog ever since I discovered how much fun it is, figuring it would be a great way for her friends to keep up with what is going on in their lives. Lyn writes a wonderful prayer letter which goes out once a month, but the blog is different.

"Random Musings" is written by my friend Rebecca who lives in California. She is one of a very special group of friends scattered across the country who "meet" via e-mail fairly regularly. We pray for each other and we bear one another's burdens. She makes me think...and she makes me laugh.

There are more that I'll add as I get around to it. Some of them are written by people I don't even know....and some of them will just be great informational links to soem great websites.

Tina -- you're up next! I'm hoping you will consider sharing your slice of life as a new bride with all your fans up here in the north and across the pond!!

The Bride and Groom

Since Robbie is four months younger than Torrey, poetic justice states that he should be married four months later. We are all thrilled to have Tina in our family... Welcome, Tina!!

The Baby Boomer Set

Jan & Bob, Rosie & Rob (MOG & FOG), Rick & Susan, Lyn & Tim -- siblings united!

The Longer Time MC

Jill and Derrick -- married nearly 8 years!!

The Nearly Newly MC

Torrey and Chris at the Rehearsal Dinner

Wedding Memories

Robbie and Tina -- last night as Mr. Oates and Miss Brown.....