The Visit...The Doc...The Confession...
I lived through Thursday. More or less.
"How've you been doing, Jan?"
I tried for the slight half shrug and made a bit of a moue. "Ok, I guess," I replied in a rather weak voice.
"How's the family?"
Let's see -- how pathetic can I make this? I brought out all the sadness I could muster. Bob's job...or lack of it...and we just didn't know what was going to happen in the future...and his unemployment didn't even cover our Cobra health insurance...and there seems to be quite a bit of age discrimination going on...and Jill, Derrick & Deven were moving to Naples FL...taking my grandbaby away from me...
I sniffed. And attempted to look pathetic.
On with the story...and the MC had a lovely wedding, and we were just thanking the Lord that was over with before Bob lost his job, but they lived in Indianapolis, and I didn't get to see them nearly as much as I would like...and Tim was going to graduate from college next month, but he was planning to go to parts unknown (read: dangerous places) as a missionary....
I sniffed again. ALL my children were leaving me. Truly an empty nester.
"You're really under a lot of stress, aren't you? How's the exercising?"
Zinger! There it was....
"Well, uh...we've been walking lately!!" I exclaim brightly. Too brightly.
"Oh? That's good. Treat yourself. Lovely weather. At least a half hour a day."
A HALF HOUR A DAY? WALK? I thought 10 minutes a couple of times a week sounded really really good.
Blood pressure? Not bad, but could be better. Exercise.
Weight -- hmmmm -- it was up (like I didn't notice). You really should exercise.
Bit of a sore throat? Probably lowered immune system. Exercise.
Eyelids look a bit red -- been itching? Allergy to something. Or stress. Either one. Need to exercise.
My lungs sounded good -- that was positive. And as she is palpating Lucy (abdomen above my waist) and Ethel (abdomen below my waist) she said, "You know, Jan, you really SHOULD exercise. It will do more for you than any pill I could ever give you!"
"Dorothy -- do you mean there is a pill? Why don't you just give it to me!"
No, there isn't. False hope.
Two very good things. I didn't have to assume The Position -- I'd forgotten that I had a pap smear just 7 months ago.
And -- I grew! Last vist I was 5-7 1/2. This time I was 5-8 1/4.
Go figure.
See what not exercising will do for you?
posted by Grammie Jan @ 10:25 AM
4 Comments:
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Jan, you could go on the comedy circuit!!! :o)
Christ is Risen...have a blessed Easter!!
Poor Rich is behind me wondering why I laugh - can't help it. I agree with the Silver Fox. You are a card.
I still think you should have told Dorothy, queen of exercise, that your daughter has been exercising faithfully for years and has managed to gain 20 pounds in 13 months. Tell Dorothy to stick it in her ear. (Oh my gosh! I sound exactly like YOU!! I like it.)
For the record, today I went to Curves and spent the entire time wishing I were somewhere else. Fortunately there is Cookie, who was ripping out a seam of a quilt square that didn't work, and I realized that if I walked out, ripping out the seam would be MY job again. No thanks. Suddenly finishing the circuit wasn't so awful. How come working out at Curves has netted me 3 extra pounds since the 15 I put on last summer? Yea, yea. Muscle weighs more than fat. What a joke.
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