Adventure 3 -- Eating

The simple act of eating really shouldn't qualify as an adventure -- but in "Narnia" EVERYTHING was an adventure.

Our first full meal was with one of the families that Tim works with and the family in their compound. We ate outside under a lovely large tree that was delicious shade in the 110 degree heat.

Setting the table was easy. Evidently no one here has heard of Martha Stewart....

1. Shoes off
2. Sit on mat on the ground around "tablecloth"
3. The hostess comes around with a pot of water, soap and a big bowl over which you wash your hands
3. Large bowl of food in center
4. Dig in -- right hand ONLY, please



The trickiest part was figuring out how to squash the little handful of rice into a little ball that you could toss into your mouth without dribbling the entire thing down your front. Considered to be very bad form.



We weren't very good at it.

But the food was delicious. Fresh fish -- the ENTIRE fish -- vegetables and rice. The seasoning was amazing.

And when you are finished? Lick your hand clean.

Oh -- and then you get to wash your hands again.

Simple -- easy -- and a minimum of dishes to do which is a good thing since evidently Maytag, Kenmore, GE, and the like haven't found Narnia yet.

Adventure No. 2

Avoiding squattie potties.

I truly had what was (probably) an irrational fear of having to use one of these facilities which ranged from a nice tiled one in our guesthouse (fortunately they had a regular western style toilet too),



to one that wasn't quite so nice but most likely just as functional.



It would be one thing to be able to use one of these holes in the ground if you had grown up squatting (or doing yoga) all your life. It's a whole 'nuther thing to start when you are (mumble-mumble) years of age!

But I did it.

How? you ask.

The traveler's new best friends: heat and a short supply of clean drinking water equals....

A decreased need to USE said facilities!

First Adventure....

After leaving our house over 24 hours earlier, we finally arrived in -- what I will refer to as "Narnia" -- because it certainly wasn't....

We knew Tim couldn't come into the airport to meet us and we'd have to negotiate customs, passports and luggage on our own. We are worldly travelers -- and English is spoken everywhere -- why, it's the universal language, isn't it?

Not so much.

But it wasn't bad. Once we got used to the pushing and shoving (McDonalds has never seen ANYTHING like this), we handed over our passports, had them stamped, and got out to get our luggage. All four suitcases were there!!

We went out into the steaming heat and darker than dark. It was about 8:15 pm.

No Tim.

English was spoken outside the terminal -- "Taxi! Taxi!! Taxi??"

I spoke the second of the three French words I knew: "Non."

Oops, four. I can say "oui" too.

No Tim.

9:00 -- No Tim.

9:30 -- No Tim.

What were our options? I had the phone number of his office, if we could sign language someone to let us use a phone. But of course it would be closed, and it was. I didn't have Tim's phone number -- never thought we'd need it. (Dumb. Always take a spare hankerchief and a phone number).

9:45 -- No Tim.

Cars were pulling into the airport and were pulling out. People were getting into and out of the cars. It's a small airport, and there is only one building and only one entrance to the building.

10:00 -- No Tim.

We decided that if worse came to worse, we'd sleep in the airport, and call the office in the morning.

Believe me, that would be WORST!

About 10:15 a man came up to me trying to communicate something -- what, we couldn't tell. He ran out of the airport with his buddy and came back with a cell phone which he thrust to my ear.

"Where ARE you?" shouted Tim.

"Where are YOU?"

The upshot of it was that he was not only not allowed in the terminal building, he couldn't get into the airport at all -- and had been waiting for over 2 hours outside the fence. The police assured him everyone spoke all sorts of languages in the airport -- English? No problem!!

"Taxi?"

Airports

Did you know that Pepsi has the soda concession in Terminal 5 (the international terminal) at O'Hare? I was very disappointed to learn that I couldn't have my beloved Diet Coke.

Also, truth be known, I think it is a rather ratty terminal to welcome international visitors. What's really weird is that it is the only terminal in which the restaurant (such as it is) is OUTSIDE security -- so once you are in, about all you can get is a soggy sandwich -- and said Pepsi. My friend Linda would be happy.....

But I digress. I really wanted to talk about CDG -- Charles DeGaulle.

It is HUGE.

It is COLD.

It is EXPENSIVE.

Bob and I had an 8 hour (EIGHT HOUR!!) layover there on our way from America to Africa. We landed in 2F and had to go to 2E. Or was it the other way around? I can't remember. In any case, one would think that the two terminals would be cheek by jowl. Nope. Not. They are miles apart -- and depending on which gate you are going to (which they will let you know oh, maybe 20 minutes before your flight is due to leave) you may have to take a tram.

Make sure you don't have any less than at least two hours between flights -- or you are an olympic sprinter.

During our 8 hour layover, we bought a sandwich (which we split), a cappucino for me, and a coke for him -- yes, we left the Pepsi consignment behind, though Air France also has it. It cost 11.50 EUROS. At the current exchange rate of about 1.35, that is equivalent to $15.50!

For a not so good and rather puny lunch. Sigh.

I suppose it is right up there in line with the Hermes scarf I didn't get, or the Cartier watch I also declined.

But now I know why French women aren't fat. They hang out at the airport, run between terminals, and don't eat.

Airplanes

On Monday night we arrived home from a week long trip -- I hesitate to classify it as a "vacation" -- to Africa where our Tim is working for an NGO in an underdeveloped (that's an understatement) country.

Our total of 28 hours of flying time on Air France was an exercise and study in "how much can your bottom take of the most thinly padded seats in what must be the entire universe..."

Now I know airlines are trying to cut corners, but this corner, when sat upon for 9 straight hours, really took a toll on my -- admittedly -- well padded behind.

Surely they could cut something else instead.

Not the space between the seats. When the person in front of me put his backrest down, I found myself spending the time counting the flakes of dandruff float off his head...

Not the width of the seats themselves. Now, after 6 decades of living, the aforementioned well padded behind has also spread slightly. Fitting into the seat itself took some manual -- um -- well, some, um, dexterity.

Not the food. I do like food on airlines, and flying overseas gives us the only opportunity we have to eat on a plane any more at all.

Not the pilot or the flight attendants -- or please, Lord, don't skimp on the fuel. That makes me nervous.

But couldn't we find something else on which we could cut down?

I have it! They give out little boxes with the ugliest little brown sox you have ever seen -- ostensibly to keep your feet warm while they are saving on fuel for heat (evidently pumping it into the gas lines so they can get you to your destination rather than setting down 10 miles short of the airport).

Perhaps they could simply stuff all the sox into the seats for padding?

The Journey Begins...

....with a single flight -- well, make that two flights -- on Air France to get us to North Africa.

Timothy -- here we come! He assures us this will be nothing like our trip to Morocco last year. First we have to navigate the airport in which my number one word will be: No.

Then the squatty potties. Those make me nervous, I assure you. I'm sure my mantra is going to be along the lines of "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!"

Bucket baths.

Donkey carts.

Camels.

Bush taxies.

Language wise it will be back to "haricovert" and "Oui" and "Merci" and "Ohhh la la."

Lots and lots of people.

But mostly, it will be seeing Tim for the first time in over 9 months.

We'll be there in less than 24 hours! I can't wait!

October 2? Already?

I looked at the blog tonight and discovered I haven't written since September 6. How can that be? Surely I've posted more often than that!!! No? I'm SURE I have written -- um -- SOMETHING.

But what?

I guess I've written in my head -- which is really terribly useful, I know.

So -- what has happened since September 6?

Um. Well. Let's see.....

I've spoken in Madison WI (great frozen custard there), Davenport IA (If this is heaven, it must be Iowa??), Saginaw MI (we could discuss spending 2 hours on I294 because of flooding on 80/94 and having Bob help me figure out how to get from the middle of nowhere to the middle of somewhere), Middlebury IN (betcha didn't know there WAS a Middlebury -- where there is a most amazing hotel -- the Essinghaus -- do go there for a visit), Louisville KY (Linda, Darlene and I were on stage as the Lactonettes -- no, no pictures I'm afraid), Fairfax VA (greatest little Greek Taverna in Alexandria!!) Evansville & Tell City, IN.

And I've spent the night with Torrey & Chris at the Ray of Sunshine Motel.

Uh -- maybe that's why I've not posted.

A "what are the odds" experience:

Flew to Washington DC on a largish plane (largish being defined as yes, they let you take your roller suitcase on and put it overhead) -- an A/B-aisle-C/D/E configuration. I was in 17A on the way to DC -- I've figured out that I'll never, despite all my flying, get anything beyond cattle car on American, but that if I choose the window seat, I get at least a Zone 4 or 5 which gives me a hope of putting my carry-on in an overhead bin.

On the way back I was in 14A. My seat companion was the same man that was my seat companion on the way TO DC. Now -- I ask you, what are the odds?

He said he didn't recognize me -- but did think my suitcase looked familiar.

Y'wanna be noticed? Get a light lavender carry-on.

He's an economist and was at a meeting in DC -- but he does state and local economy, not federal. He thinks our governor, which shall remain unamed (primarily because I can't pronounce his name, let alone spell it!!) is "dangerous."

Enough said.

Except that I was hoping he was going to push for the $700 billion to be divided among all Americans who are law-abiding, ethical, tax paying citizens (I figure that oughta eliminate all the CEOs who have already taken $95.000,000 in bonuses) so we could stimulate the economy.

Guess not.

Sigh.

Anyway, that's what I've been doing since Sept 6.