33 days....

I'm not sure if saying "less than 5 weeks" or "33 days" is more scary....especially when I think of all there is to do.

The responses keep trickling in....if they came all of a bunch, it would be easier to do the place-cards for the reception. Who do I seat with who? Whom??? Whatever.

As soon as the EC can choose a couple of fonts, I can work on the program.

I need elastic for the pew bows.

Will we need to make more streamers?

Who has Carol's pots to put the streamers in so they don't drag on the floor?

What about a nursery for the service?

How many high chairs for the reception?

I have my MOB dress. What about jewelry? I need some and so does the bride.

33 days and counting. I'm so excited. So is Torrey. We can't wait.

Gulp.

Six Weeks and Counting....

This was a WONDERFUL weekend. The EC were here, and despite the fact they consumed nearly all of my Reese's mini peanut butter cups, peanut M&M's and black licorice, we had a fabulous time. Probably better for me that they did help themselves to the aforementioned sweet things....

We met with Jenn, our church wedding coordinator. What a gift SHE is! Organized to the nth degree, we left our meeting Saturday morning with the feeling that everything on the church end of things was totally in her capable hands, and all we have to do is show up, dressed and in our right minds. Well, show up, anyway. Wow.

We love Jenn.

The first fitting for Torrey's wedding dress came next. The gown is exquisite. All is needs is a bit of hemming and the bustle fixed. Torrey is breathtaking in it..... I wish I could see Chris' face when he sees Torrey walk down the aisle, but since we are taking pictures before the ceremony, that will be their special, own, private time in the sanctuary before the pictures. Jenn has promised to be a mother-bear and not let ANYONE peer through the doors. Not even me. Sigh. (And no, Chris, I am NOT going to describe it on these pages. Too bad!)

Chris has tossed out all sorts of casual questions trying to get us to say SOMETHING about the dress -- all to no avail.....well, almost no avail. I said something inadvertently the other night in reponse to a comment of Torrey's, and -- ouch!

We met with Terri who is catering the rehearsal dinner at the church on Friday night. She's another blessing in our lives as well. Did a bit of shopping, checked another MOB dress for me, (Torrey nixed it) and talked to the organist. After church, we ran into Judy, one of my dear friends who is, along with Debbie (mother of the aforementioned Matt), and Jill giving Torrey a shower. Decided that at the brunch there would be no mushrooms (or tripe -- my contribution -- not that tripe is a biggie around here), but there would be fruit.

We've made lists upon lists and planned the order of worship for the ceremony. After the wedding, I'll share the two readings and the scripture they have planned. They are perfect. We counted bows for the pews, streamers and garland, and planned who needed to do what on the day of the wedding. How nice that Timothy can drive this time!!

We watched Monster-in-Law.

Too bad I fell asleep for most of it. Or maybe that's a good thing.

Jill, Derrick and Deven are calling with weather reports from Naples (they have 8 diapers left and no place open to get more. But otherwise, all is well there). Timothy spent his fall break with friends in Scottsdale.

The response cards continue to trickle in....we are up to a 35% return.

Torrey e-mailed this morning...."Did I mention I can't WAIT to be married?"

What a wonderful message to get on a Monday morning!

And we are now at 39 days.

Invitation Responses

The responses for the wedding are beginning to trickle in. So far 23% have sent in their yays or nays -- we are currently running 65% coming, 35% staying home to eat bon bons and watch the soaps -- or whatever.

Quite a few people have written a little note on them -- one even enclosed a wedding check!

I've discovered that one of the fun parts of being the MOB is that I get to open these, keep track of the list, and do the statistical analysis of who is and isn't coming....

These days it is really fun picking up the mail!!

Emergency Rooms....

On Monday, October 3, one of our life group members was going to have a nuclear stress test for some odd symptoms -- primarily fatigue -- that he was experiencing. I'm a nurse, but didn't have a clue as to what the test was, so another of our life group explained it as he had not only had one, but then undergone emergency triple bypass surgery just a couple of months ago.

Ah.

I now know more than I ever wanted to know about a nuclear stress test as I'm still probably a bit radioactive from the one I ended up having this past Monday. Be careful what you really want to know about.....

It all started with some funky chest pain at about 4:00 in the morning. "Chest pain," like "lump in the breast," are probably two of the scariest words I know. For women, heart attacks don't generally present in the usual manner -- severe chest pain radiating to the shoulder blades or down the left arm with shortness of breath, nausea and sweating. It can be relatively mild and eminently ignorable. Which makes it all the more scary.

By 6:00, I decided to go ahead and go to the ER at the hospital where I have worked in one capacity or another for the last 23 years.

They don't mess around with vague chest pain symptoms either. An IV was started, I was given nitroglycerine orally and in a patch, some aspirin and oxygen. Blood was drawn for cardiac enzymes to see if any were elevated. The doc kept coming in and pushing on my chest..."does this hurt?" "Well, yeah...."

A bit later the cardiologist came down, and said that since I was at risk for heart disease (all those nacho cheese flavored Doritos and Lays sour cream and onion chips, I'm sure), and no longer a "young" woman (hahaha!), and had these "bizarre symptoms" (his words) he recommended a -- yup --

Nuclear stress test....

Radioactive dye, pictures of the heart, a treadmill (boy, am I out of shape -- but I knew that!), more dye, more pictures and 8 hours later, I was pronounced heart healthy and good for at least another two years. Heart wise, that is.

The diagnosis was chest wall pain for no discernable reason.

Of course, as I was driving to the hospital, I was picturing triple bypass surgery and wondering if I would be well enough to make it to Adam's wedding in Asheville in November, and get everything done I need to do for OUR wedding -- not to mention that I have a 6 day lactation education program that starts tomorrow.

It couldn't have been stress, could it?

Nah.

No time for stress. Nope, no time.

Musing about Names

There was a letter to "Ask Amy" in the Chicago Tribune this morning about what children should call adults who are not related to them -- what are the expectations? I've thought a lot about this over the past few years -- given my age, I've had a lot of years to think about this....

I will say I'm very uncomfortable with small children calling me by my first name. Perhaps since I'm in my 5th decade I can be allowed this discomfort, though I have a lot of the moms I counsel introduce me to their 3 and 4 year olds as Jan. I call myself "Auntie Jan" to the babies -- but I'm not on a close enough basis for their older siblings to call me Auntie anything. I wish that up here in the north we'd use the southern "Miss Jan and Mr Bob". I think that is being respectful to ones' elders, but not as distant as Mr & Mrs Picklehammerschnitzelbub would be. In our particular circle of church friends, we are all Mr & Mrs ------------ until the children graduate from college - and in some cases, we remain Mr & Mrs ------------. I do hope by the time they have babies and I may be the lactation consultant that I can move to being Jan....

I remember when my mother was in the hospital, and a VERY young resident called her by her first name. Mother was appalled that a 20-something would refer to her as Helen, and she said VERY firmly, "I am Mrs. M ----". He rudely said something about Helen being her name -- so I looked at his name tag, and said, "Mother, this is Andy." At which point, she suddenly became "Mrs. M ----."

We've become such a nation of casual first name users that even non-profit telemarketers will call asking for Bob as though they are the best of friends. I think that next time I'll simply say that there is no one available to them by that name.

In her column, Amy said she preferred to be called Amy, that Miss Amy made her feel like something out of Gone with the Wind. Well, maybe -- but I happen to like Gone with the Wind! My southern sister is "Nurse Rosie" at all her schools, and "Miss Rosie" outside of school.
I do like that.

But then there is another quandry. What to call the in-laws? Yesterday Matt and Jen got married on the most beautiful October day you can imagine. It was in an apple orchard with 5 ring bearers (the youngest was 11 months -- you've not seen cute until you've seen Jonah and TJ in their little tuxes) and 4 flower girls, plus 8 adult attendants each. I don't know when I've seen a happier bride -- Jennifer literally bounced! She and Matt met in elementary school and started dating 10 years ago when they were sophomores in high school. As Debbie (MOG) put it, the ceremony was pure Jen & Matt. It was wonderful. But Debbie told me that all these years, Jen has called her Mrs. V-----. Debbie finally asked her last week when she was going to call her Mom -- and Jen said, "Next week!" Yesterday, right after they were married, Jen called her "mom" for the first time.

I wish there was a special name for in-laws. Some are quite comfortable being called by their first names, and while I was initially uncomfortable with that, I've decided it's probably just fine. If you call your own parents Mom & Dad, I think it is tough to call your spouse's parents Mom & Dad. Maybe us in-laws should all be Milly & Phil -- (MIL & FIL).

Do we have the right to be called Mom & Dad just because we are the inlaws -- or should we earn that right? Our SIL Derrick didn't really call us anything but "Jill's mom" or "Jill's dad" until after Deven was born. At that point, we got the sweetest card from him in which he called us Mom & Dad for the first time. It was truly the nicest gift we could have received from him. I think that whole process takes time - in some cases it comes faster than others. For the MIL & FIL too, it can take time for the SIL/DIL to really become a son or a daughter -- and not just an 'in law."

The entire relationship issue is an interesting one. My two brothers in law -- Rosie & Lyn's husbands -- are just like brothers to me. Susan is quickly becoming a sister. Derrick is our son, and Chris is too -- well, almost -- only two months and one day to go. But I know families in which the inlaws are never anything but people reluctantly related by marriage....

But I'm incredibly fortunate -- though I grew up with two sisters and one brother, and birthed three children, I currently have three sisters, three brothers, two daughters and three sons.

I am rich beyond measure.

And if you have not yet graduated from college, feel free to call me "Miss Jan."