A Thankful Heart

On January 24, 1998, my friend Debbie started to keep a notebook of things she was thankful for. She covenanted to list at least three things a day for which she was grateful.

Debbie was one of the first people to welcome us to Wheaton. She came to our front door with her (at that time) two youngest children and a plate of cookies. "Hi," she said. "My name is Debbie, and I live right around the corner from you. This is my son Matthew, and this is my daughter Lori Beth. I wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood."

"And this is my daughter Torrey Beth," I said, as I pulled three year old Torrey from behind my skirts (um -- that is figuratively speaking....not literally, mind you).

Debbie and I became good friends. She lived in a lovely Victorian house on our block, around the corner -- a home that must have housed large Victorians, since ours must have had rather small Victorians living in it. She invited us to College Church -- to the "Young Couples" Sunday School class. We were hooked, and we never visited another church in Wheaton -- a city of churches.

That was 1982. Torrey Beth and Lori Beth were best of friends for many many years. Debbie held the flashlight when Timothy was born in August, 1984 -- at home, with no electricity -- during a major storm -- while Bob helped deliver him (HEY -- *I* delivered him -- Bob just helped!!) -- because the midwife didn't get there until 10 minutes after Timothy. Debbie said she THOUGHT she was going to make PB & J sandwiches and play Monopoly with Jill & Torrey during the birth -- not be a significant part of it!

We shared many a Thanksgiving dinner at Ed's mother's home -- who generally invited at least 20 or 30 others, including Russian refugees. Ed & Debbie introduced us to our new Thanksgiving tradition -- going bowling after T'giving dinner. It became a tradition to try and beat Ed....this year Torrey and Bob got the high scores (150 and 154) beating out Ed by just a few pins....

Thanksgiving Eve, College Church has a wonderful service -- it is hard to decide which one we like the best -- Thanksgiving Eve, Christmas Eve, or Easter Sunday. They are all amazing.

Each year, three members of the congregation are asked to give their testimony. Perhaps because of something unusual that has happened that year, perhaps because they have a special story to tell. When Torrey was a sophomore in high school, she was one of the chosen.

But I digress.

This year, Debbie was one of the three who were asked to speak. And that is why I know about the notebook of thanksgiving. Debbie has been keeping these lists for nearly 11 years. She has always been able to find something to be thankful for -- even when she broke her back. That day she found 11 things to be thankful for! She said she's missed a few days, but never because there wasn't something for which she could praise God.

Debbie and Ed don't live around the corner from us any more. They have moved to Wisconsin, where Ed was the owner/proprietor of an amazing and beautiful resort and campground. But their wonderful home here in Wheaton hasn't sold yet....

Since our trip to the resort in June, the bottom has fallen out of the economy. The bottom fell out of the resort/campground as well. Let's just say that life and finances have gotten impossibly and unimaginably difficult for Ed and Debbie.

It isn't over yet.

But Debbie still thanks God, every day, for at least three things.

God is good. It's easy to praise God when things are going well. Not so easy -- but much more authentic -- when life seems to be at its lowest ebb. You see, God is still good when the Dow plummets, and half our retirement is -- just -- gone. God is still good when we think retirement is a couple of years away -- and we realize that we may be working for another 7 or 10 years instead (and we are grateful that we have a job at all). God is still good when cancer hits. God is still good when a daughter gets pregnant out of wedlock, or another child send threatening suicidal notes. God is good -- and loves us REGARDLESS of our circumstances.

The question is -- do we still love God during these hard times? Can we still praise Him?

Debbie can.

Debbie is one of my "heros of the faith."

My "Thankful Heart" notebook is only four days long -- but one of my "thank-yous" is for my dear friend, Debbie.

Mom's Version of Torrey's Questionnaire

I love getting those questionnaires that make you think about what you like, what you don't like, and answering them. Makes me think. Well, Torrey put her answers up for this Christmas questionnaire on her blog, and so -- hey -- me too! Me too!! If you hate questionnaires, skip this one.
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Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your family and friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy this entire email and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person that sent it toyou......Tis the Season to be NICE


1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper mostly because I can get it real cheap at Costco or from The Lakeside Collection. But bags are SO easy!!

2. Real tree or Artificial? I grew up with real trees, and for the first 30+ years of our married life we had a real tree. But then I got tired of cleaning up the needles and having to turn off the lights when we went out and having to water it....so....we have a fake one. We succumbed.

3. When do you put up the tree? Thanksgiving morning. We used to do it the week before Christmas, on the 18th, but since getting the artificial one, we can put it up early and take it down late and there is no danger of fire. We do all our decorating then. This year we got the C'mas china out early and have a few decorations up. Won't take as long on T'giving Day then.

4. When do you take the tree down? Depends on who is home now. I'd love to leave it up until 12th night (January 6), but this year, we'll take it down on New Year's Day, most likely, since we are going on a cruise in early January.

5. Do you like eggnog? I haven't had it in so many years, I don't know....

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Yes, Torrey, you got way too many gifts as a kid!! When I was 5, we lived in Ireland, and had no money. My father made a wagon for me out of an apple crate and some wheels he scrounged from the dump. My mother gave me a little clothespin that was on a card that said "With love to Janny from Winnie the Pooh." I've never forgotten in, and in going through some things in Montrose this summer in preparation for the Torrey family reunion, I found the clothespin. Evidently my mother had kept it all these years...

7. Hardest person to buy for? I....don't really know. I think my son Tim. Like Bob, he doesn't really have any hobbies, and just how many DVDs can you get him anyway? And this year with him in Africa, it really limits me and stretches my imagination.

8. Easiest person to buy for? Torrey and Jill. I'm forever finding things I think they would like. Besides they are girls. Deven and Laura -- my grandbabies -- also easy to buy for.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes. We've had it for years -- can't remember how long. It is kept in a box that my sister sent our presents in when she sent them from Japan (which had to be 1980 or 81). And yes, the manger is put in the little "attic" that the stall has, and Jesus is put in Mary's arms. I've always wondered why every manger scene has him naked in the manger. It was COLD, folks! Have you ever looked at the paintings by the great masters? Half the nativity pictures have him on the FLOOR -- naked -- with Mary dressed in some gorgeous robe (nice and warm, I'll have you know) with her hands in the air.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? I always send a C'mas letter in a card. And I do mail it. I probably do it as much for me as I do for anyone else. Then the letter is put in a notebook where I have a copy of all of the cards I sent out (1970 thru 1980) and the letters which started in 1981...

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? The old version of Miracle on 34th Street. The spiritual lessons it teaches are amazing.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Anytime in November, especially if I have to mail gifts overseas..

14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? I'm not sure. I do like Christmas cookies. A lot. And it shows.

15. Lights on the tree? I grew up with multicolored lights on the tree. And we still have them that way. White lights outside.

16. Favorite Christmas song? Parts of the Messiah -- I adore the Hallelujah Chorus, but in our church we sing that at Easter. The nurses sung it to me after Torrey was born though I had it on tape. I would have played it after Tim was born, but we didn't have any electricity. I sang it to myself after Jill was born -- having a baby is such an amazing Hallelujah type of thing. There are a bunch of them. We start playing them on Thanksgiving and play them through New Year's Day.

17. Travel at Christmas or stay home? We stay home and hope that everyone will come to us.

18. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen..." Are there any more? Besides Rudolph, of course.

19. Angel on the tree top or a star? A bow. I actually made it myself one year. It looked a bit dorky, but to my amazement, everyone seemed to like it, and so....

20. Open presents on Christmas Eve or morning? Always Christmas Day although the Elves arrive Christmas Eve with new jammies for everyone. We started the Elf tradition when Jill & Torrey were little. Anyone that stays with us over Christmas Eve is "elfed."

21. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The traffic, the crowds, and the need to give too much when so many others have too little. And I'll add to Torrey's comment that I really don't like the focus on Santa (OK, so I DO like Miracle on 34th St) -- and the focus away from Jesus.

22.Favorite Ornament theme or color? My favorite color is always purple, regardless of the time of year.

23. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Turkey (absolutely cooked off the bone), buttery mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, cinnamon rolls, pumpkin pie. Add gravy, black and green olives, and dressing made with cranberries and orange juice. However, this is Thanksgiving dinner. Our traditional Christmas dinner which was basically the same ceased to exist the Christmas (2006) we discovered our turkey (I always get a fresh one) was deader than a doornail and, Oh Lord, he stunketh. Since then we have hors d'oeuvres and pick all Christmas afternoon and evening.

24. What do you want for Christmas this year? I want something I can't have, and that is for all three of my children with their families to be home....instead, this year we will be alone. I'm glad Torrey and Chris at least are coming the week before Christmas. Other than that....

25. Who is most likely to respond to this? My sisters

26. Who is least likely to respond to this? Bob. No question about that....

18 Days at Home...

I'm in the middle of 18 days at home -- longest stretch since last December. 2008 has been rather harried -- but amazing. Two trips to FL, one of which was to meet my new grandbabygirl,




one to Montrose PA for a Torrey family reunion (These are all the Wheaton grads at the reunion....)



and one to "Narnia" to visit Tim -- which also took in a short trip to "Perelandra." We did our first exhibiting ever -- at the National Association of WIC Directors conference in Louisville.



We went to Wisconsin for a weekend stay at a fabulous resort with friends we have known since forever...



And had the worst rain ever in the Chicagoland area -- true flooding, though our basement stayed dry -- praise the Lord!!



Other than that I had 35 speaking gigs -- some only one day, some as long as 6 days. Some as the only speaker for a conference, most with one or both of my LEC compatriots, Linda and Carole. I only have one left to go next month, and then am finished until February!!

So today....no mom/baby dyads at the hospital, no moms scheduled to come and see me here, nothing on the calendar!! Oh my, what shall I do?

My "to do" list is long. I could write lectures for 2009. I could clean up the dining room. I could mail the C'mas package to Lyn. I could look for the C'mas wrapping paper in the basement. I could....I could....

I could have another cup of coffee! I think I will!

Why We Have Children

There are a number of reasons why we have children. Enjoying their ingenuity is one of them. This is from a friend.....

Adventure 4 -- Driving....

As I gaze out over our nice, American, suburban street that was repaved this summer, I'm in awe. We have sidewalks, we have grass, we have streets with stop signs and stop lights. People -- for the most part -- obey the rules of the road. We have street signs and house numbers so that you know where you are going.

Narnia -- not so much. Driving, even with my beloved son, is tantamount to taking your life into your hands. There are a few paved roads -- mostly with large potholes. A few makes it sound as though there are more than there are in this city where the infrastructure can handle about 25,000 and the population is 750,000 give or take a few donkeys and goats.




Almost every car on the road is a taxi. Tim is a master at negotiating prices. Most of the vehicles are vintage Renaults that most likely harken back to the early 70's. They are about the size of our Saturn, and a full taxi is 3 in the front (including the driver, which means two people sit in one seat) and four in the back which is designed for two. If you want to go any distance, you pay for another seat which we did when we went on our mini-vacation to Perelandra. If you are really lucky, you will have a handle to pull on to close the door. Otherwise you will pull on a rag. There might be one handle to pass around the car to open windows. Or not, as the case may be.




There is one rule of the road. "He who is the most aggressive wins." I think the cars are supposed to drive on the right hand side of the road, but I'm not really sure as we seemed to drive on the left as much as on the right. The drivers tried to avoid the biggest potholes -- most of the time.

There are no street signs. How you know where you are is anyone's guess. All the buildings look alike -- mostly a brownish sort of tan. Tim would say -- "do you know where you are now?" Uh, no.



In the "nicer" part of town we did see a few stop lights. And there were actually a few street lights which were functional when the electricity was on -- it went out with rather depressing regularity. If you had it at all -- which Tim doesn't.

There was not a single fender bender when we were there -- near shaves, but no bumps. Absolutely amazing.

In the evenings when we went to Tim's neighborhood for dinner, we got the company car. Tim has learned a lot about driving since he got there.

I hope he is able to unlearn it when he gets back home.

More on Eating in Narnia

Eating -- it is such a social event, and in Narnia -- oh yes, truly an event. "Tea" is also an event -- a ritual. Three small glasses of mint flavored tea that are sweet, sweeter, sweetest. One never leaves until all three glasses of tea have been finished. The ritual can take up to an hour....




I've already described our fish dinner (complete with fish eyes). We also had beef and chicken (both excellent), a lunch of scrambled egg sandwich makings, pizza (at a restaurant)-- note the fried egg on top:



and a tajine (which Tim declined to tell us about until we were half way through the meal).

"It's camel."

CAMEL?

It was very good. I thought it was beef.

"In America, we don't eat camels. We look at camels."

Maybe we are missing out on something.